HEAD, HEART, HANDS

Karen Kenney: 00:00:01

Hey you guys. Welcome to the Karen Kenney show. I am just absolutely delighted, just delighted to be here with you today. So thank you so much for tuning

Karen Kenney: 00:00:13

in. It's been a while since I've introduced myself. I think many of you who listen to the show, if you're a loyal listener, Hi, welcome back. I'm so happy you're here, but

Karen Kenney: 00:00:22

if you're new to the show, maybe somebody recommended the show, or pointed you in my direction, or you stumbled across me somehow. And if you're here and you're like,

Karen Kenney: 00:00:32

Who's this broad who? Who is this pregnant lady? Uh, let me just say hi. So I'm Karen Kenney. Most people call me Kay Special K, sweetie. I don't know some other version of

Karen Kenney: 00:00:47

that, but I don't even know sometimes how to introduce myself. I mean, I think I'm of myself mostly as a writer and a storyteller, for sure. I'm also a speaker. I am a

Karen Kenney: 00:01:00

spiritual mentor. I am a yoga teacher. I'm a gateless writing instructor. I do Thai Yoga massage. I'm a hypnotist, I'm a change worker, I'm a life coach. Blah, blah, blah,

Karen Kenney: 00:01:13

blah, blah. I do a lot of things, and here on this podcast, what I do is I basically bring all the pots of me to you. I just show up. Use some personal storytelling and some

Karen Kenney: 00:01:24

universal spiritual principles that hopefully help you to maybe think about something differently, to look at the world differently, to look at yourself

Karen Kenney: 00:01:34

differently, right? This is just a podcast where I try to spread a little more love in the world. I kind of think of myself is like Mr. Rogers for adults, in a way. I mean, we

Karen Kenney: 00:01:45

could never, ever, ever replace Mr. Rogers, but just kind of that vibe, right? And if you see in the background, if you're watching this, you can see my little Bob

Karen Kenney: 00:01:52

Ross over there, little Mr. Bob Ross with this little paint brush and palette. So these were some of my my heroes. And I just think, man, the world needs a little bit

Karen Kenney: 00:02:01

more kindness, but we also need a little bit more help, don't we? There's so much that I marvel at that we were not taught as children, whether it was in our homes or

Karen Kenney: 00:02:12

whether it was at school or from our families of origin or whatever. And you know, we're taught a lot about a lot of things that, on some level, don't really

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matter. And the one thing we're not really taught, many of us, is really how to know ourselves and how to love ourselves and to be kind to ourselves. And we don't always

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really know like how we tick and how we work. And what are some tools we could use, you know, to help ourselves as we navigate this whole human experience. So that's kind

Karen Kenney: 00:02:45

of like what the show is about in some once in a blue moon, I have a guest, but mostly you're just stuck with me solo. So if you find yourself here, hi, okay, this episode,

Karen Kenney: 00:02:57

let's dive right into this thing. I think I'm going to call it head, Hot Hands head, and I'm tapping my forehead, hat. I'm tapping my chest right. And hands, I'm

Karen Kenney: 00:03:07

wicked in chest. Hands, I'm wicked in my fingers, right. Head, hot hands. Now, why I wanted to talk about this is because so much of the work that I do is around change work,

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right? It's taking a look at whether it's a way of thinking, right, wanting to like, maybe shift our perception from fear to love. Maybe it's about wanting to change a

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belief or an old story that we've been carrying around that's not really serving us anymore. A lot of what I do is transformational or changing life, changing

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work, right? And so often what people will hear people say is, they'll say, I want to change X, Y and Z, or I need to stop X, Y and Z, right? I have this habit, or I have

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this pattern, or I have this thing that I do. And a lot of times, people try to change from the outside in. They look at their external circumstances and their external

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behaviors like, oh, I need to stop eating late at night, or oh I need to start going to the gym more, or oh, I need to whatever. And they're really trying to start at the

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level of the behavior. And they try to start there and work their way backwards and so often, if we try to start at the level of the behavior, like what, what I would say

Karen Kenney: 00:04:28

your hands are doing, right, if we try to start there, a lot of times we fail, because a lot of times why we're doing what we're doing is not only because we have

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subconscious patterns. Yes, that's a huge thing, right? It's like part of the ways that the brain tries to keep you safe is by keeping you in the familiar, okay, but it's

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also that we like to stay in the association of the identity. That we've created for ourselves. So a lot of times we try to change something out here, out here in the

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world, right? I'm doing kind of like with my hands, like out here the external but really we have to start on the internal stuff. And this is like the head in the hat. And one of

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the things that I often will think about is, if your head and your hat are in alignment, the hands will follow. If your head and your hat are in alignment, your hands will

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follow. So if your head in your hat, believe it, your hands will go ahead and do it right. So we can't skip over like the internal work first, and so often we might

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be in a situation where we're in pain, we're already suffering. And I don't mean just like physical pain. I mean like the thing that we're doing, whatever these things that

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we've been choosing to do, whether it's a habit, an addiction, a pattern of whatever you've been doing, right that's been getting you in trouble, or screwing up your

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relationship, or making your marriage not be that great, or maybe you're doing some shady shit in your business. Or maybe there's like, just like you're doing some things

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like putting food in your mouth, or, you know, doing certain things that are not great for your health or whatever it might be. You know, a lot of times we we try to,

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like, start there, and we'll fail because we haven't first shifted or change the way that we're thinking about of a thing and the way we actually feel, and I'm tapping my hat

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again, the way that we feel about a thing, so how we think and how we feel is always going to affect how we will act and if we are holding on to an old identity, right?

Karen Kenney: 00:06:51

One of the things that I often say is like smoke is going to smoke. You know what I think it's like, if you identify as a smoker, you're going to smoke. If you don't

Karen Kenney: 00:07:00

identify as a smoker, then you tend not to smoke. If you don't identify as somebody who drinks, if you're a quote, unquote, non drinker, then you're probably not going to

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be stopping by the packing and getting, like, a six pack. You know what? I mean? You're not going to be like, grabbing a couple of boxes or bottles of wine if you're

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a non drinker, unless you're going to a potty, and you're bringing a gift or something like that, right? So if we change our mind first, right? Change our mind

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first. Change our heart. Listen to what, listen to how we feel like. Check in with how we feel. Check in with the quality of our thoughts first. And do some work there

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on that level, then the things in the external, the actions, the hands, you take care of the head and the hat, the hands are going to kind of take care of themselves.

Karen Kenney: 00:07:49

And let me just give you a little bit of an example, personally for me. So when I and I'll use actually, let me use a broader example. Let me use a broader example, but

Karen Kenney: 00:08:00

it also applies to me. In fact, my own story is going to be an example of exactly what, what Paramahansa Yogananda said. So Paramahansa Yogananda, he was a yogi, right?

Karen Kenney: 00:08:12

He called him a guru or a teacher, or whatever you want to say. Not a huge fan of that word, but guru, but so he was a wise teacher from the East. He came over to

Karen Kenney: 00:08:24

America. He came over to the west, and he started teaching yoga to Americans. And I'm pretty sure he was in California, right most of the time. And when he was in California,

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it was around the time of like, people like, say, like the hippie generation, right? And there was a lot of like, drugs and alcohol and free will and sex and pottying and

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Woodstock, like, all the stuff was, I mean, Woodstock was on the east coast, but you know what I mean, a lot of the like, free love and all that stuff, right? Was

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happening. And a lot of like, you know, drugs and experimenting and all this stuff. And a lot of the people who were attracted to Paramahansa yoganandez,

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teachings on yoga and stuff like that. They would go to him, though, and they would push back, and they'd say, hey, you know, if I come and, like, learn from you and hang out

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with you and spend time at the Self Realization fellowship or all these things, if I'm, if I'm doing these things, you know, if I'm quote, unquote, practicing, if I'm

Karen Kenney: 00:09:25

trying to become a yogi, do I have to stop drinking? Do I stop have to stop smoking? You know, do I have to stop having sex? Do I have to stop eating animals? Do I have to

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become vegetarian or vegan, or whatever? Because, remember, the first, the first tenant of yoga that first like that of the eight limbs of yoga, the first foundation is

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what we call the yamas and the niyamas, and the very first Yama is called Ahimsa, which means non harm, compassion, non violence towards yourself and others, including

Karen Kenney: 00:09:58

animals. Right? So? Like, the the whole foundation is, do not harm, do not kill. Like, be kind, be compassionate, right? So, you know, they would be like, do I have to

Karen Kenney: 00:10:08

stop, you know, eating, you know, eating animals is what they're really asking. And Paramahansa, Yogananda, was so wise, and what he would say to them is, no, you don't

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have to stop doing those things, to like be a part of this fellowship, you know, to be a part of this spiritual community. And he said, right like later on, he said, because

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if you continue to do this, and if you start to like show up and actually practice and do these things, those things are going to naturally fall away. You won't have to feel

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like you're giving anything up. They will just naturally fall away. And I found this in myself, you know, when I first started practicing yoga and even teaching yoga, you

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know, I was still power puffing cigarettes. I was a smoker. I was a smoker, you guys back in the day, but I was lucky enough that for whatever reason, whether it's my mind or

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the certain gene that I have, I don't know, is like, I was the kind of kid that, like, could smoke a pack a day, and then just wake up one day and decide that I was done, and I

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would be done, right? But during this time, I would like, you know, I would like, teach a class, or, like, even go to the gym and, like, work out, and then I'd come out and

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get in my car, and I would like, light up and, like, Power Puff. And it was like, What are you doing, right? So the more seriously, you know, I started to practice, and the

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more seriously I started to taking, you know, my role as a teacher, and diving more deeply into yoga, those things just naturally fell away. I stopped smoking

Karen Kenney: 00:11:52

cigarettes. I just stopped drinking. I just decided to be a non drinker. I'm like, This doesn't make any sense anymore. Eating Animals never if you really know me and know

Karen Kenney: 00:12:01

how much I love animals, eating animals like murder, like participating in the suffering of animals for a meal, like none of that ever made any sense. But, you know, I'm a

Karen Kenney: 00:12:10

little bit of a knucklehead sometimes, and we have cognitive dissonance, and that's a whole other show for another time. You know, we're hypnotized from a very young age. PS,

Karen Kenney: 00:12:19

to eat animals, even though it's totally not who we really are, most of us, okay, so, but you know, and we're back. But here's the thing. Is that gradually, I always say

Karen Kenney: 00:12:31

gradually, but inevitably, if you're taking this practice seriously, yoga, those things will naturally start to fall away. So you don't have to feel like you're giving

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anything up, or you're sacrificing, or you're, quote, unquote, having to do something. When the head and the hat come into alignment with love, when the head and

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the hat start to shift, the hands are going to follow. So you're not going to want to pick up the booze. You're not going to want to pick up the weed or the cigarettes or

Karen Kenney: 00:12:59

whatever. You're not going to harm the animals anymore, right? And so that's just like one example. And I know that if you you know, probably have your own examples, like

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you can look at your life and realize that when you all of a sudden, shifted something internally, and it might be the way that you think about another person. Maybe you

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learned something about them. Maybe you heard a story. Maybe you became enlightened, right? The light turned on inside of you. You became more spiritually connected, and

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you realize, like, Oh, they're actually a lot like me. Like, oh, we're more alike than we are different. Or Oh, like, whatever, when we have to, when we start to have these

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shifts in perception in our mind, when we start to tell different stories, better stories, when our hearts start to like, you know, our compassion and our empathy and our

Karen Kenney: 00:13:50

kindness starts to lead, your hands are going to follow. So you know, it's, it's, it's, there's nothing wrong with you know, I'm not wagging my finger at anybody or

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saying anything's wrong with just trying to, like, go cold turkey, because I cold turkey some things in my life right before I had tools, I would just try to use my willpower.

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I would try to, like, white knuckle shit and just be like, I'm just going to be like, nope, nope. I'm going to deny myself this thing, or I'm not going to do this anymore.

Karen Kenney: 00:14:19

I'm not going to do that anymore, and you're just really trying to use your sheer will, and you're really going against your subconscious mind and the contents of your

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mind. And it's why a lot of diets fail. It's why a lot of I'm going to start saving money, fails, right? It's because people have not done the internal work first on the

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level of the mind, level of the heart, so that we can pave an easier path for the hands, for the behavior to follow, and if we insist on trying to change the external

Karen Kenney: 00:14:53

first, it's not that you won't have any success. I'm not saying there aren't some people who can do it. I'm just saying. It can be a little bit easier when we start to

Karen Kenney: 00:15:03

shift our mind and start to use our mind for the purpose that it was actually created for, which is love. PS, by the way, extending love, using the hat for what it

Karen Kenney: 00:15:13

was used for, which is to love, by the way, and for using our hands for what they were intended for, which is to love people, to help people, to serve people, you know what

Karen Kenney: 00:15:23

I mean. So this whole body really is designed to be, I call it like a communication device. And it's one gig is to to set the dial to the radio station of

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like, k, l, o, v, e, you know what I mean. So if you've been kind of bumping up against some changes that you've been trying to make, because you've been trying to, like,

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drag yourself from the external behavior into, like, somehow magically, like, magical thinking, like, Oh yeah, I'm just gonna decide that I'm never gonna do X, Y and Z

Karen Kenney: 00:15:57

again, even though I've been doing it for the past three years daily, or I've been doing this for 20 years, it's like good luck with that. And that's why a lot of times we

Karen Kenney: 00:16:07

need to and whether, however you get the help, it can be like hiring somebody like me who has a lot of tools in my tool kit, like, for you know, subconscious reprogramming,

Karen Kenney: 00:16:17

spiritual mentoring, you know, somatic work, like with the body, like helping the body to feel, the nervous system to feel like safety and stuff like that, right? So, working on

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the level of the conscious and the unconscious, working on the level of the hot, working on the level of, remember, emotional, physical, emotional, physical,

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spiritual and mental, those four things getting get the mind, body and spirit on board. Get the hat on board, and the hands are going to follow. And so maybe this is

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just an opportunity to pause, you know, to look and see if there's something in your life that you've been trying to shift or change or or stop doing or start doing.

Karen Kenney: 00:16:56

Whether it's with you, with you, your own relationship with yourself, maybe you've been wanting to, you know, start a meditation practice or create a DSP, a daily

Karen Kenney: 00:17:05

spiritual practice. Maybe you've been trying to do something on the physical level, whether, like I said, it's maybe like starting to walk every day, or commit to a

Karen Kenney: 00:17:12

yoga practice, or rejoining the gym, or whatever the thing is, maybe you're one of those people that have been a member of Planet Fitness, paying them 1015, whatever,

Karen Kenney: 00:17:22

25 bucks a month for like he is. But you never go, and you're just like, What am I doing? Why can't I make myself go? It's a lot of times. It's because we're trying to

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do it first on the level of behavior, on the level of hands. But you haven't checked in with the head and with the hot because the brain is doing its own particular thing to

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keep you safe and the hot might have some feelings and some beliefs about things. So there's one part of you that wants the change, and there's another part of you

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that's not ready until you bring those online into alignment. The assignment is alignment, I always say. And if we can start to align with the truth of who we are, if we

Karen Kenney: 00:18:03

can, kind of, like, take some time to to go in and I understand, like, right now we're at a point in time, I think, where most people just feel kind of completely

Karen Kenney: 00:18:14

overwhelmed, and they're like, do I have to work on myself? The whole world's already a show it everything's already had, like, I have no energy. KK, I have no time. I have

Karen Kenney: 00:18:25

no resources. And the one thing that I will say is, if we like the most important thing, and this is to me, and I'm not saying the most important thing in the world isn't your

Karen Kenney: 00:18:37

family, your friends, your children, caring for your animals or the environment. I don't mean it like that, but how those things get done, well or better, is by first us

Karen Kenney: 00:18:50

taking a look inside and making the appropriate changes there, and we're not making changes in transforming things because you're fucked up, need to be fixed

Karen Kenney: 00:19:03

because you're broken, or whatever. That's not the case. You're not broken. You don't need to be fixed. So much of the work that that needs to be done or is really helpful

Karen Kenney: 00:19:16

when we do it is more of an unlearning, because we are taught, right? We are taught as children. We learn a lot of things as kids. It gets programmed into us that isn't

Karen Kenney: 00:19:27

actually that helpful later on in life. You know, these these survival strategies, these survival mechanism these patterns, these ways of thinking and seeing ourselves, these

Karen Kenney: 00:19:39

identities that we create later on, they start to get in the way. We gotta check in every once in a while, you know? And this is why spiritual work is so important, and

Karen Kenney: 00:19:52

having a spiritual mentor can be so incredibly helpful, and so often, I don't think even people know what a spiritual mentor does. I can't speak for other

Karen Kenney: 00:20:01

spiritual mentors. That's not my place to do that. I can only talk to you about like, how I approach things. And I know that having a daily spiritual practice is a really

Karen Kenney: 00:20:11

powerful thing, but there's a lot of different spiritual tools that you can use to me, working with yourself, on yourself, right? And I always say who you are as one

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of God's kids, like who you are as an extension of the universe, who you are is as part of the one cosmic consciousness is already perfect. But that's not what we're

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talking about. The things that we're working with or tweaking or shifting or changing, that's the that's the ego personality part. That's the part of you that like this

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persona that you've created in this lifetime, which is affected by where you grew up, who you grew up with, what your what, what your economic situation was like?

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Did you grow up with a lot of money? Did you grow up poor? Were you a blue collar kid? Were you like a wealthy kid? Did you have two parents at home? Did you have one parent

Karen Kenney: 00:21:04

in jail? Did you have one parent dead? Did you have divorced parents? What kind of home, what kind of community, what kind of support was there? Was there food in your

Karen Kenney: 00:21:13

house? Wasn't there food were you food insecure? Did you, you know, like, were you molested as a kid? Were like, what? What's your ACE score, right? What? What's your

Karen Kenney: 00:21:22

what's your ACE score on that, that score of like, adverse childhood experiences like, check that out, right? So all those things kind of shape and mold who we believe

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ourselves to be. And if we try to, I always say, you cannot outperform your identity. You cannot outperform your identity. So if we're trying to do things at the hand level,

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you might as well just white knuckle your hands or wring your hands, because it's a lot harder to try and change from the outside in than it is from the inside out.

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And I'm not saying that doing that work to shift your perception from fear to love, because we are so deeply patterned. We do believe so much of the bullshit that the ego

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tells us we you know, the voice, the voice for the inner teacher, the voice for love that is inside of us. It doesn't shout, man, you know, it whispers. It's quiet. It's not

Karen Kenney: 00:22:23

forceful. It doesn't try to make you feel crazy or insecure or rushed. And so the voice for the ego, and of course, in miracles, we say the voice for the the voice

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of the ego, it speaks first, and it speaks loudest. And I always say, and it's it's wrong. It's always wrong. And that is the voice of guilt and shame and blame and hurry

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up and desperation and scarcity and fear and you know, all that stuff. That voice, oftentimes, is not your friend, you know. And in this work, we're not trying to kill

Karen Kenney: 00:22:57

the ego. We all have an ego, or we wouldn't be like, doing the shit that we do, right? We need a certain amount of ego to kind of like, you know, survive and get around. But

Karen Kenney: 00:23:06

this ego mind that is always just kind of like in A Course in Miracles, it's called, it's like a scavenger dog. The ego mind, it's like a scavenger dog. It's always

Karen Kenney: 00:23:16

walking around looking for grievances. It's always looking around trying to to make guilt, guilt, guilt in your unhappiness and your suffering is like, is like, you know,

Karen Kenney: 00:23:26

when, when we were little, if you ever watched the Gremlins movie, and they would say, Don't feed the Gremlins, don't give them water, like after a certain time,

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right? Because that's what happens. You know, the ego is like a little gremlin man, and it will grow exponentially off of your guilt, your shame, your suffering, your you

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know, your superiority, like you're so much better than everybody else, but also it'll also grow on this idea that you're shittier than everybody else. You know what I mean,

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that you have it so much higher than everybody else, or, you know, keeping you in that victim loop is just like feeding the Gremlin, you know. So I hope this has been

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helpful in some way that it's got you thinking about like, maybe, what have you been trying to white knuckle? What have you been trying to force yourself to give up or

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to fix or to change? And have you been trying to do it from the outside in? And if you're somebody who's ready to do it from the inside out, and you want some support

Karen Kenney: 00:24:20

and help. You know, there's lots of different ways. If you're a local person, you can come to a yoga class of mine, right? But really, the way that I help people is

Karen Kenney: 00:24:29

through my group program, my group coaching program, which is the nest. It's my little spiritual community and membership. It's full of lovely people, and that's like a

Karen Kenney: 00:24:38

monthly commitment. You start, you don't like it, you can always leave, but most people come and stay for years and years, right? They love the people in it. They love

Karen Kenney: 00:24:47

the the resources that they get. They love the community and the connection and all the tools that they learn and all that stuff. And then there are some people who like to

Karen Kenney: 00:24:55

go deeper and like to work privately, and those are the people who join me for the. Quest, which is my one to one, spiritual mentoring. So if you're somebody who wants

Karen Kenney: 00:25:04

to, you know, take a look inside, especially since out there is so fucking scary right now, right the external world that everybody wants to fix and change. Do you know how the

Karen Kenney: 00:25:14

external world actually changes is when enough people get serious and start to do the internal work. Because first we have to shift in here. Because when the head and the

Karen Kenney: 00:25:27

heart right, when the head and the heart get online, when the head and the hot, believe it, your hands will do it, and how you think and how you feel will affect how you act,

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and if you change your mind and you listen to your hat first, right? That's how the the things on the level of form, the things on the level of our hands, our actions, our

Karen Kenney: 00:25:52

behaviors, will actually start to shift. So head hot hands, my friends. Thank you so much for tuning in. I appreciate you. I appreciate your time. I appreciate your you

Karen Kenney: 00:26:07

know, spending spending this, this time together, I know you could be doing a lot of other things in the fact that you turn this on, if you still hear in my voice right now,

Karen Kenney: 00:26:14

thank you for sticking to the end and hanging out. If you want to find out how to work with me. Any of those things. Get on my newsletter, on my email list. Stay in touch.

Karen Kenney: 00:26:23

Just go to Karen Kenney k, e n, n, e y, Karen kenney.com you can find everything there. If you want to join the nest, it's Karen kenney.com/nest if you want to join

Karen Kenney: 00:26:34

the quest, it's Karen kenney.com/quest wicked easy to find. And I appreciate you, and I hope you have a fantastic rest of your day or night, whenever you're listening to

Karen Kenney: 00:26:44

this and wherever you go, may you leave the people, the animals, the places you go, the environment, the planet, and yourself better than how you first found it, wherever you

Karen Kenney: 00:26:58

go, may You and your energy and your love and your presence and your head and hat and hands be a blessing. And it just made me think that, you know, there's a line

Karen Kenney: 00:27:12

somewhere in the Bible, or one of the I don't know, I think it's in the Bible, but it's definitely a spiritual thing where we basically say, like, the divine has no hands

Karen Kenney: 00:27:20

but yours, no mouth but yours, no feet but yours, no no no hot or head but yours right. So to be in service, to be in service to our highest self, to be in service to our

Karen Kenney: 00:27:32

highest good, to align our head, our heart and our hands with love, is an incredibly powerful thing to do. So just a little added tidbit there. All right, you guys have a

Karen Kenney: 00:27:44

great rest of like I said, your night or your day. So much love. From my heart to yours. Bye, bye.