Leaf Blowing Lessons

Karen Kenney: 00:00:02

Welcome to the Karen Kenny show. I'm looking excited that you're here. Thanks for joining me and spending a little time with me. Ah, I just got back from visiting my friend JTB and Jessica Todd Villante she she freshened up my do. It's like the only time my hair gets blow dried you guys is when I go see JT. She's the best. Alright, and we're back focus. Okay, I think I'm gonna call this episode, the leaf blowing lessons. Leaf blowing lessons. All right. And here's the deal, you guys. You know that this show this show the caring honey show has a several objectives. But the probably the top two most important is about number one ending suffering for people and animals, ending suffering, but also to pour more love into the world. So whenever I'm doing an episode, I'm always thinking like one How can I be helpful? So it's always like, right, I want to educate, I want to elevate I want to enlighten I want to entertain, but like, How can I be helpful? How can I pour more love into the world? How can I help people to, you know, give them whatever might be useful and valuable to help them to have less suffering in their lives and also, of course, to end suffering for both humans and animals. And so hopefully this episode, you might be like leaf blowing lessons. Why do I want to listen to this, because I'm gonna make it applicable in some way. Just stick with me, just trust me just hang in there. Hang in there. All right, I'm going to share some gonna tell a little story like I always do. And then I'm going to bring it around to something applicable to your life or to your business or your relationships or whatever. I don't like to waste anybody's time. So hopefully, you're gonna find a little nugget somewhere in here a little golden nugget that you can apply to your own life. Okay. So thank you for being here. Number one. I appreciate you loyal listeners. New folks. So happy to hear if you're like who's this broad? Why am I here? Why did my auntie send me a link to the show? How did how did I get here? Right? If you want to know more about me, go to Karen Kenny. Ke n n ey.com. And check out the shenanigans see what I'm up to see who I am. And just welcome welcome to my world and I am so happy to hear. Okay, let's dive into this. Okay, number one. So I live on a dirt road. Okay. And my street is not like part of like, obviously we live in a town right. But I Street is kind of not looked after. Like so you know how when you live in a town or a little city and the plow guys come out right. Like in Concord. It's like the plow guys come out. And you got to move your car off the road when it's snowing and put it over here because the city plow trucks that come in through okay, yeah, no, my street is not taken care of by the town. We take care of the street. So we've got our own plow guy who comes down and me and our neighbors and stuff like that, right. So once a year, once a year, so there's a couple of times a year when they take care of the dirt road, the pave like the greatest come out and the big machinery comes out and they flatten it out and they roll the things and they do all the stuff. But then once a year, all the neighbors on the street we do like annual road cleanup day. And what that really means is we're going down the street and we're cutting back the brush and we're blowing the leaves. We're getting rid of the leaves and we're doing all this stuff. Okay, so me I'm a city kid. First of all, I didn't grow up having to rake jack shit you know what I'm saying? Like never lived anywhere long enough to buy like gardening tools or never had enough land or property where it became a problem. Okay, or an opportunity however you want to look at it. So my sweetie and I have been living in current house for like this is the longest we've ever lived anywhere. We've been here long enough that we put down some roots. And we now have like, some gardening like you know, we have like shovels rakes and ladders, like whatever. So we have like three and a half acres of property we live with there's a lot of trees, lots of woods and stuff. So all the neighbors have all the stuff to take care of their property right. And so but I me mostly my sweetie helps to, you know, when all of a sudden we get a tarp. We got some rakes and I was raking I of course was not rigging. All three and a half acres but a good chunk of this sucker. I was just raking by hand. Dear God helped me Okay, so on one of these recent like last year I think it was one of our neighbors comes over on the roadwork day. And he's got like this jet pack, commercial grade leaf blower. Not only him, but like two other guys down the street have the same model. And I'm like, what is it? You know, it's like you literally if you're not, if you're not watching this, you can't see me. But literally imagine putting on a backpack. And on your back, you're carrying like the motor. And then like having a huge electronic arm, you got this big nozzle, like a big elephant snout nozzle. But like as soon as like a little, like a little button that like you can push that all of a sudden, it's right, and you can blow the leaves. This thing is like hardcore. This thing. Like, moves leaves like nobody's business. And I see my neighbor and literally like a little kid, like I'm like, oh, like, I'm like, Oh my God. And he sees me standing there. Like with my rake watching him as he's blowing leaf out of the little. I don't know what you call it, the little gully stuff, like where the water runs down or whatever, right? So I'm just standing there, and he can see the look on my face. He's like, do you want to try it? And I'm like, Yes, please. So I'm like, like, I put this thing on my bag, and I tighten up the straps and I get the button and I'm like, zoo, I'm like, I'm telling you 30 seconds.

Karen Kenney: 00:06:23

I'm sold. I'm sold. I'm like, must have one of these. Because I cannot believe how fast and efficient this thing is. Now look, I want to say this. I'm a total tree hugger. I've been vegan for over 20 years. I love the environment. And I'm like, Don't come to me. Um, I know some people are gonna be like, Well, if you really cared about the environment, you would keep raking. Listen, I have an electric lawnmower. Okay, so there's that I have an electric lawnmower. But I'm telling you with this thing, it saves me so much time I can get the job done so much faster. So anyways, I immediately go out and buy one. Okay, now we're getting into the heartbeat of the story. So once I get my hands on one of these, like, commercial grade, like leaf blowers like the real deal. Okay, number one, I want to say this, I don't blow my hole yet. I couldn't I have so many trees and woods around me. And I let a lot of the leaves compost and I leave a lot of the critters alone. I'm not somebody who uses chemicals in my yard or on my grass or whatever. I like dandelions. I don't mind weeds. I like when the milk weeds in my that was a new one I learned about this year I got milkweed and I learned that butterflies love them. Like how cool is that? So I try not to disturb too much. But like my porch, my deck the driveway, I want that shit cleared off. I hate it when it's covered, right with all the all the leaves and the acorns and all the shit. Okay. So, I like to leave little nesting places for the Kritis though. So I just want to say that okay, so here's what I learned though. I have this leaf blower you guys like get to the point K gay, okay, but I have this leaf blower and the way that my mind works, now some of you might be able to appreciate this. Okay, so number one, I want to say this and especially to the ladies, especially to those of us right women in general, these are just very general statements, right? I don't like to put people in boxes. I don't like to label people. But we know in general, maybe it's because brain development wise we've had to, but a lot of times women in you know have been very good at being able to multitask. And I did a whole podcast about this. I think I called it single tasking. Because I don't actually I think that multitasking, we believe it is a thing. But I don't think that we actually do many things at once. Well, I think it's better to kind of single task, which is going to kind of be a little bit one of the nuggets of what I'm about to say. So what will happen is, I'll start in one section, right? And I'll go all right, I'm gonna blow off you know, the deck and I'm gonna blow off like the lower deck and the stairs Great. Then what happens is I go into the yard like where the dogs hang out right and stuff when it's potty time and all that and I've got two of these I've got three actually. But I'll start to go into start to do one with a leaf blower and it's like zoom in right? Now if you're not careful, right? If you're not intentional and you're not careful, leaves end up going all over the place. Like if you don't know what you're doing, like when you first start to use a leaf blower, you kind of make more of a mess, then you do help yourself, okay? So what will happen is you'll start working in one section, and then you'll see some leaves blow over there and then you're like, oh, and then you just got to go over to that section. And then you start to get distracted. So now the real area that you took out Got the friggin leaf blower for in the first place, you now find yourself like 50 yards away from doing something else. So what I realized is when I first started doing this, first of all, I was just excited to use it because it was really fun. And it was new and it was exciting. And what I realized is, is if I'm not careful, I'm going to end up wasting more time. Even though I have a more powerful and efficient machine. Even though I have a powerful tool, if I don't wield the tool responsibly, if I don't use it in a particular way, it's not actually going to be that helpful to me, I'm just going to waste time, I'm going to waste gas, right, and it's not good energy, it's not going to be worth it. So I realized that because I had so many sections and areas that I wanted to do this thing on, I'm out there with the leaf blower, and I'm blowing a little bit there. And then I turn around and it's like squirrel. Now note, right? I know a lot of people who talk about having ATD or ADHD I know a lot of adults are getting diagnosed more than ever. And this is not a commentary on that. I do believe, however, that I think that these devices like our phones and shit, right all all the little electronic devices, I'm waggling my phone, it was waggling my phone, if you're not watching. I think that they're teaching us how to be distracted. I think they're teaching us how to not have focus, to not be able to stay with one thing for long periods of time. I think we go searching for dopamine hits. That's another story altogether. But I just wanted to say that. So what I realized is I was watching myself, okay, so one of the things that I always tell my spiritual mentoring clients, people I work with one to one, hypnosis, all that stuff, right, my one to one clients, my group coaching clients, all of that stuff, I always say the same thing. Notice what you notice, that applies to me too. So while I'm outside goofing around, having fun with a leaf blower, I start to notice what I noticed. And what I noticed is this, that if I'm not careful, I'll end up doing 20% in one area 20% in another area, then I'll decide to oh, I need to make a path for the leaves to go through like the with the leaves, I'm going to be blowing first I gotta blow that section. Before I know it. I'm down by the shed. And instead of being up in the dog yard where I initially started, now I'm halfway down the driveway, because I'm just kind of following where I'm so I'm letting the tool right in the leaves direct me rather than me direct myself. So I kind of get not so much distracted, as it is for lack of a word unfocused. I'm trying to think about this. So what will happen sometimes, and we can apply this to anything, right? So I'm talking about blowing leaves, but we get blown around all the time by our thoughts. We get blown around by, like, if you've ever been if you've ever been like, Oh, you're looking for the answer to something, right? And you're like, I'm just gonna look this up on Google. And before you know it, you've gone down some sort of rabbit hole. And now you're doing scrolling on some social media site. And you're like, Oh, my God, how did I get here? Because you just took off and you started to follow, right? You weren't leading you are no longer in charge, right? You started to kind of follow those blowing leaves and wherever they were going, and you were just being taken wherever the wind blows you. It was blowing you rather than setting your sail and directing a course, and staying the course. So that's what I realized. I'm like, I'm just out here and I'm getting blown all over the place. And what I realized was, I need to create a little discipline here. I need to create focused energy, focused effort, right? Focus, energy and sustained effort. And I needed to say, Okay, we're just going to do what Anne Lamott told us and Lamotte the the writer if you don't know any Lamotte, check out her work, right? She's written so many incredible books.

Karen Kenney: 00:14:12

And her probably her most famous book is called Bird by Bird. And it's like Bird by Bird some instructions on writing in life. It's such a fantastic book. And when I have clients who satting to get overwhelmed by a transformation process or a change process or personal development or whatever, creating a DSP, a daily spiritual practice, and we'll, I'll talk about that in a second. I always say to them, we're just going to take a Bird by Bird buddy, and I'll break it down for them. This is how we're going to do it. We're not going to try to do all the things at once because you will become overwhelmed and your nervous system will start to go into fight and flight and you're gonna get triggered and you're gonna get scared and some people will just shut down. They'll just be like it's too much all at once. It can be very reminiscent All right, when we think about what trauma is, trauma is No, good. We don't have I'm just gonna say very quickly SIP SIP as Linda Ty would say, right trauma isn't just events that happened to you, it's what happened inside of you as a response to what happened. And a lot of times trauma can feel like too much too fast too soon, right? Or too often. And in for too long. Whatever was going on, right? too much too soon, too often, like in the nervous system is just like I can't. So I often say Okay, guys, we're just gonna take a Bird by Bird. So I had to notice that I was getting blown about by the leaves, the leaves, the leaves were working me I was not working the leaves. And I was like, Okay, you need to Bird by Bird your own ass, you need to just do this. So what I did is I looked around, and I said, Okay, I'm gonna break this down into sections. So rather than trying to do everything all at once and getting overwhelmed, I was like, Okay, you're gonna do the top deck. And I blew everything off the top deck. Right, I removed the cushions, I removed the things to wipe your feet. I did all the things, and then I cleaned off that, and then I put everything back. Great. Now you're gonna do the lower decks, boom, I did that I blew all the leaves down into the driveway. Awesome. Now you're going to do this section of the dog? Yeah, great. I did that. Because I found myself just ping, ping, ping, Ricochet rabbit. I was just bouncing around going wherever the leaves blew me, right? And I was like, Nope, we need focused energy and sustained effort. And we're just going to take it one thing at a time, Bird by Bird. And the whole story of Bird by Bird. I could probably do a whole podcast on this. But the wicked short story is Annie when she was younger, and Lamont when she was growing up. Her brother had a book report that was due, or it was some sort of a, some sort of a project right? Where he had to I don't know, he had to do little bits and pieces on all the state birds or whatever the thing was, it was a project on birds, okay. And of course, he had put it off until the last minute to the last night when and he starts to panic. You know, those Sunday scaries. When you're like shit, I have to go back to school. And I gotta turn in my homework, and oh, my God, I didn't do the project. I didn't do my work, right. So her brother is like freaking out. And he's sitting at the table. And he's trying to get it done. And I guess he just starts to cry, and it gets overwhelmed. And his dad comes over to him. And he's like, you know, like, and I'm paraphrasing here, but the dad is like, what's going on? He's like, Ooh, you have to do all these birds and stuff. And the dad just kind of put his hand on his kid's shoulder and he said, Okay, buddy, we're just going to take it Bird by Bird. Okay? Same thing with writing. Just take it word by word, you know what I mean. And when you're out there in your life, and your leaf blowing, just take it section by section, leaf by leaf. But in life, what I often find, especially working with people, when we try to do all the things at once. And I think this is kind of like perfect timing, because I know as the New Year is approaching, right, we're getting closer and closer to the end of 2023. And it can be really wicked tempting this data to what's the word I'm looking for? Kind of be really unkind to yourself with like, 2024 New Year, I'm gonna have all new year new you, you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do all these new, I'm gonna break all these bad habits. I'm gonna have put all these things in place. And I'm like, No, you're not. No, you're not. It's gonna sound good in your brain, it's gonna sound good on paper. And if you try to start to do too many new things at once, you're gonna get overwhelmed, you'll probably shouldn't say you will. The likelihood is that you might, some people might not. But the likelihood is, is that you'll get overwhelmed, you'll get you'll get overwhelmed, it will feel like too much at once. And then maybe you'll slip up because you can't you can't live up to your own expectations, right? And then you won't do it perfectly. And then you'll get discouraged. And then you'll quit. And that's what happens a lot. Okay. I used to work into Planet Fitness when I first first first first first moved moved back east from California. That's a story for another day. But I saw how I saw how fucking packed the gym was in January. And how slowly over the course of a few weeks, a couple of months, things went right back to normal because everybody tries to go gung ho, like, I'm gonna blow all the leaves all the time and the whole yard everywhere. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no and more. No, let's just Bird by Bird. This sucker. Let's just take it one thing at a time. So when you're trying to either create a new habit or break an old habit, when you're trying to do something in personal development, when you're trying to work on spiritual growth. When you're trying to work on some healing. I just want to say this. Just take it one thing at a time. Don't Firehose yourself with I'm going to just go You know what I said like, again, you get those that leaf blower out there and you start going. And you're all over the place and shits going everywhere. And you're actually not making forward progress. You're not actually moving in a forward direction, you're actually going left and right and left and right and left and right, you're taking two steps forward, three steps back one step forward, you know, if you feel like I'm doing something, so some part of you feels like, oh, yeah, I'm doing something, but you're actually not making sustained progress. Because you're really just blowing a bunch of shit around and calling it progress. So one thing at a time, that's what I want to say. So notice, if you're the type of person who all of a sudden, like goes gung ho, and it's like, I'm gonna do all these things, and I'm gonna get all this stuff. And then you actually only like, stick with it for a short amount of time, because it becomes too much and too overwhelming. And I just want to share this too, while I'm talking about it. Again, especially with a new year coming up, there's going to be a lot of temptation to change, like, maybe I'm making these up, but whatever, I'm gonna quit drinking, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna start going to the gym, I'm gonna start doing 10,000 steps. I'm going to start drinking water every day, I'm going to start meditating every day, I'm going to start doing a gratitude journal. I'm going to start eating, you know, vegan plant based stuff. I'm like, okay, okay, my nerves, my partner, I'm rubbing my own face. I'm havening havening. Take me, I'm like, havening my own faces. I say this, because I'm like, Oh, my God, I can even feel my heart start to go like, Oh, my God, that's a lot. Let's just, let's just let's just come, as I say to my friends joking around, sit back and relax, just calm down over there, as I say. Okay, listen to this. Because a lot of people also beat themselves up with bad information. Right? A lot of stuff gets put into the culture, and nobody really questions it. And people just parrot it and regurgitate it without actually doing their homework. So there's a lot out there that says it takes 21 days to create a new habit. Um, maybe maybe not. Okay, for a lot of people. So listen to this. According to a 2009 study that was published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, listen to this, it actually takes 18 to 254 days for a person to form a new habit. Okay, that's a lot different than the good old fashioned 21 days that we've all been fed. Because what happens is, this is another thing that happens in the culture. I've seen this happen with quotes. I've seen this, like with Miss quotes, especially people assign certain quotes to certain people, and it wasn't even them. And they don't bother to check. They just want to look spiritual, they just want to look a particular way. So they just share it and share it. And it just keeps getting shared. And I'm like, did anybody stop to question or do their homework and see if this person actually really sent that thing. So this is one of those things that just kept getting reshard without anybody stopping. So listen, it takes between 18 the study said 18 to 254 days for a person to form a new habit. But here's another interesting thing that the study concluded that on average, though, on average, it takes 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic. So I always just say to people to keep it like easy. Give yourself at least 100 days, I'm talking like three months with a little extra boop, right? Three months with a little extra

Karen Kenney: 00:23:51

when you're trying to undo an old habit and replace it with a new habit. Okay, so if we insist that it's going to be 21 days, most people like once in a while, once in a while, I know myself, I have gone cold turkey and I decided, right, I decided like I'm done. I'm done with this thing. I'm done with this habit. I'm done with this behavior. I'm done with this person. I'm done with this relationship. And when I'm done, I'm done. And I don't have to think about it. I don't have to work out it's like done, but it's usually because I've put up with something for so long, that I was ready to be done with it. Right? Sometimes what you're putting up with is your own bullshit. Sometimes you put it down with somebody else's okay, but here's the thing. So, listen, it takes 66 days for a new behavior to become automated to become automatic, to make it habitual, at least 66 days. So you can run with 66 But we also know there's a range and look at change can happen. Boom instantaneously, like on the spot like I have proven to myself, right, but 18 to 251 18 to 254. Yeah, but I always say, give yourself like 100 days. Now, if you're giving yourself 100 days to create one new habit, what is that? Tell us? How many days are there in the year? And let's say you want to say, like, Okay, I'm like, maybe, maybe you can cultivate three to four new good habits, like in a year. Because if we're given each habit, like three months, you know, that's pretty great. Do you know how different you'll be? When you have right sustained focus and effort, sustained energy and focus effort to do one thing, rather than walking around, blowing your leaves everywhere, trying to do all the things for everybody all the time, it's like, nothing gets done, what you ended up is, again, you waste time you waste resources, you waste energy, because you're not just sticking with one thing, you're trying to multitask, or you're trying to do all the things at once, rather than just saying, hey, stop, focus right here for a while. Let's nail down this piece, this skill, this habit, this training this material, let's embody this, let's really learn this, let's practice this before we move on. And then we tried to get this certification or that skill set, or that thing or that habit or that new thing, you know what I mean? So I was just thinking about it. Because I was just thinking about it, cuz I just leave flowed yesterday. And I'm way better at it. Right? I'm way better at it now than I was, say, like, the first time the very first time, because now I know, it's like, okay, you got to stick with this thing, right? And it's really fun, like, hey, look, if you've got hours, and you just want to walk around doing a little bit here a little bit there, maybe that's your, like, maybe that's how you do things. I'm not here to shame blame judge or anything like that. But what I know is when I tend to stick with something, and I put my focus energy in one spot, and then complete that task, and then it's like next, and you actually get a lot more done. And it's so fulfilling to do a job well done. And to be able for the box check is that I know, right? To be able to say okay, is Andrew Cuban tells us, right? 90 minutes, 90 minutes of sustained focus effort is what the brain is really good at. And then you get up and you give yourself a little break, right? Maybe you take a little sip of some water, a little dance party, whether you're learning something, whether you're doing something 90 minutes, take a break, get that little dopamine hit, get rewarded for the effort, not for the outcome, and then continue on. So you guys, I hope this was helpful for you in some way. I hope maybe you recognize some part of yourself. And you're like, ooh, that's me like, oh, yeah, I do that. Or, hey, here's a new way of looking at that, right. So again, Bird by Bird yourself, when we don't treat like, I'm telling you, this is a commercial grade leaf blower. So it wasn't just like I was blowing like a couple of leaves over there. It's like shear and like Fly, fly, the leaves would go everywhere. And I was like, oh, because I didn't know how to direct you know, the nozzle, like the big elephant snout. And what's really fun. You know, one of those things called got the Stata, the clutch, I don't know, you know what I'm saying? It's like, an M one thing. Like, it's so funny, because when you first turn it on, you have to let it idle. And it's got these little drawings in one is a turtle. There's like neutral in the middle, and then ones that turtle, and then the top one is like a rabbit. And that's the other thing too. We don't like to let things warm up. We don't like to let it idle in the in the turtle, we don't like to take it slow. We just like to like Like, like, like, you know, dime that thing. We just like to kind of like punch it to the floor and go right into the rabbit. But the machine will die off if you don't let it warm up. If you don't like start to like just kind of build up to a thing if you just go like balls to the wall. If you If you insist on doing that with everything. You just end up making a mess. So slowly but surely I have learned right over the last year how to really use this machine efficiently. Right and now I can really like my sweetie even texted me today. And he he complimented me said hey, I just want to tell you, you did a fantastic job blowing leaves yesterday, the yard and the driver look fantastic. And I was like, I was so proud of myself. It was so nice of him to say that. And for him to send me the text message. And he was very specific. You know, he said the areas that I did, this is how he described it to me like I did a really fantastic job. It made me so happy. But just like I've learned, right where to direct that snow that nozzle that hose whatever you want to call it the leaf blower with a broom thing, right just like I've learned to use that in my favor. I've learned how to do the same thing with my Mind Over sustained time of meditation, contemplation, mindfulness prayer practice, right 30 plus years of having a daily DSP, a daily spiritual practice has helped me to place my mind more and more where I want it to be, to be able to focus like above the bottom when I need to. And that's a superpower if you can place your mind where you want it to be. I'm not saying I always do it, right. I'm not saying I always do it good. But a lot of the time, more often than not, I can put my attention where it needs to go. And my sweetie can tell like when I'm focused, I don't even know you're in the room with me. Like when I'm focused sometimes, like, if my mind is engaged on the thing in front of me. It's like, oh, like, you know, it's like, oh, you know what I mean? So there's something very powerful about again, sustained effort, right? And sustained focus, right? What did I say? In my own words, right, focused effort, sustained, or focused energy sustained effort can be so powerful. So I hope this is helpful in some way. I so appreciate you tuning in. There's gonna be a couple of new changes to the Karen Kenny show coming in 2024, which I'm wicked excited about like nothing crazy, nothing crazy. But just to make it more and more. Me, right. So like, because I'm growing and evolving. I'm going to be coming up on five years, you guys Jesus Christ, like five years of podcasting, which is so exciting. So it's time for just a little as Jewish just a little juicy judge, a little wishy washy little massage trailer, would you would you to the Karen Kenny show. So thank you to all of you who have been listening and going on this journey all along. You guys, if you don't want to miss out on all the shenanigans, what I'm up to what's happening, what I'm offering new ways to work with me retreats, all that stuff. Go to Karen kenny.com/sign up, get on my email list, join the family, you'll get this email, this podcast sent to you every Thursday morning straight into your inbox, you don't have to go looking for it. Hopefully, you've subscribed and you automatically get the download. But if not, this is another cool way to receive it. And just go ahead and do that. And then that will put you on my email list. I don't spam I don't share your information. I don't do anything weird. I just write to you on Tuesdays and I either tell a little story or I give you something helpful. I offer you a way to kind of like an invitation, right? To work with me in some way or whatever. Right little love notes into your inbox. And on Thursdays I shoot you the podcast. So you guys, thank you so much. And as you know, as I said, right, this podcast is all about helping to find ways to end our suffering and to pour more love into the world. So as I always say, wherever you go, may you leave yourself may leave the environment and the animals and the people and the planet and the places you go better than how you first found them wherever you go. May you and your presence and your energy and your love, be a blessing. Bye