THE POWER OF AN INVITATION
On this episode of The Karen Kenney Show, I dive into the power of an invitation - the good, the bad, and the just plain weird.
I share some personal stories about how our culture has shifted from the old days of friendly, unannounced visits - to a time when people practically hide when the doorbell rings.
Growing up as a kid, I remember it was totally normal for family or friends to drop by with donuts and coffee on a Sunday morning.
But nowadays… a “just stop by anytime” invite often feels more like a brush-off than a warm welcome.
So, it got me to thinking about how the language and tone we use in our invitations can make all the difference.
Like how a vague offer of “you can come if you want to” - doesn’t really make anyone feel wanted; in fact, it can sometimes sting a little.
I also get into the nitty gritty of why direct, heartfelt invitations matter so much.
Because when someone takes the time to reach out with intention - you feel seen, valued, and truly part of the fold.
This episode isn’t just about social niceties.
It’s about helping to break down those internal stories or instructions that make us feel like a burden or sometimes, not even worthy of being invited.
Whether it’s old family patterns, cultural habits, or just plain discomfort, a lot of us struggle to ask for what we want -or- to trust that people really want us around.
I share my own experiences and encourage you to reflect on yours, because you deserve to feel included.
My big takeaway?
If you want to build real connection, don’t leave your invitations up to chance.
Be specific, be enthusiastic, and put a little extra love into your ask - whether it’s for a dinner party, a big event, or just a simple hangout.
A thoughtful invite has the power to lift someone up, help them feel like they belong, and make this crazy world a little warmer and kinder! ❤️
KK’S KEY TAKEAWAYS:
• The words and tone you use in an invitation can influence whether someone feels genuinely welcomed.
• Open-ended invitations like “drop by anytime” often feel halfhearted and don’t leave people feeling truly wanted.
• Direct, thoughtful, and enthusiastic invitations help build connection, trust, and a sense of belonging.
• Cultural shifts and personal stories shape how we give and receive invitations, sometimes making us hesitant to reach out, accept, or stay a while.
• A warm, personalized invite can help break down feelings of unworthiness or isolation.
• Making intentional plans, rather than casual or passive invites, shows effort and strengthens relationships.
• Going above and beyond by including a personal touch - like a handwritten note or a specific ask – makes your invitations more meaningful.
• People want to feel wanted and welcomed; take the extra step to make your invitations sincere and clear.
BIO:
Spiritual Mentor and writer Karen Kenney uses humor and dynamic storytelling to bring a down-to-earth, no-BS perspective to self-development.
Bringing together tools that coach the conscious and unconscious mind, Karen helps clients deepen their connections with Self, and discover their unique understandings of spirituality.
Her practice combines neuroscience, subconscious reprogramming, Integrative Hypnosis, somatic work, spiritual mentoring, and other holistic modalities to help regulate the nervous system, examine internal narratives, remove blocks, and reimagine what’s possible.
A passionate yoga teacher, long-time student of A Course in Miracles, and Gateless Writing instructor, Karen is a frequent speaker and retreat leader. Via her programs The Quest and The Nest, she coaches both individuals and groups.
With The Karen Kenney Podcast, she encourages listeners to shift from a thought system of fear to one of love, compassion, and personal responsibility.
CONNECT WITH KAREN:
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Transcript
Hey you guys, welcome to the Karen Kenney show, and we're
Speaker:excited to be here with you today, and I do my best to keep
Speaker:this sucker short and sweet, maybe maybe also a tiny bit
Speaker:sassy, short and sweet and a little bit sassy. Okay, here's
Speaker:what I want to talk about. I want to talk about invitations,
Speaker:invitations. Okay, I don't know why this is on my mind so much
Speaker:today, but I just got back. It's fucking pouring out. Why do I
Speaker:have to swear so much? Potty mouth alert. It's, it's, it's
Speaker:really raining outside today. I just got back my sweetie, and I
Speaker:got drenched out there, but while I was walking in the rain,
Speaker:I was thinking about this concept of what constitutes,
Speaker:like, a good invite. And this is something that has bothered me
Speaker:for, like, a long time. It's the way, it's the way. And maybe
Speaker:it's because I'm a lover of words, and I love language, and
Speaker:I know the power of words and the impact that words can have,
Speaker:not only on on us, but on others, right, when, when the
Speaker:way we speak to ourselves and the way that other people talk
Speaker:to us, it's not always just what we say, it's also how we say it,
Speaker:right, like our tone of voice and all that. So words, I know
Speaker:the power of language, the power of language that often gets us
Speaker:trapped and stuck in our suffering and our thoughts of
Speaker:separation and all that stuff. So I look at words very
Speaker:intentionally, and I try my best to use my words intentionally.
Speaker:And when I think about this concept of invitations and being
Speaker:invited, and how we invite people, whether it's into your
Speaker:home, into your life, into a relationship, into your
Speaker:business, your programs, whatever, into working with you,
Speaker:relating with you, into a relationship with you
Speaker:professionally, like how we invite people into our world,
Speaker:really matters. So I wanted to just put this out there, in case
Speaker:it is helpful for you as well, and maybe you can understand the
Speaker:impact that the way that you invite people, the impact that
Speaker:it has, or the lack of impact that it has, because it can
Speaker:actually be a little bit repelling. So I'm going to give
Speaker:you some real life examples, because, you know, like, I'm a
Speaker:storyteller, and that's what I like to do. So there's a thing
Speaker:that happens here in New England especially. So let's go back,
Speaker:like, when I was a kid growing up. So I remember, like, back in
Speaker:the 70s being a kid, and people used to just, like, drop by a
Speaker:house all the time, especially on, like, Sunday mornings,
Speaker:right? And people would stop by with Dunkin Donuts. They'd come
Speaker:in with, like, a box of donuts. They'd knock on the door, the
Speaker:screen door, you know, you'd hear the screen door open and be
Speaker:like, oh, yeah, it's, it's, you know, Uncle this, or, you know,
Speaker:this, this, aunts dropping by this, uncle dropping by, one of
Speaker:my father's friends, like, whatever. Somebody was like,
Speaker:come into the house, and they brought snacks, they brought
Speaker:donuts, they brought coffee for the adults, like, whatever it
Speaker:was, and it was just like a given. You would just drop by
Speaker:people's houses, like, back in the day, when we didn't have
Speaker:answering machines, you couldn't leave people a message, you
Speaker:couldn't call them on your cell phone. Those things literally
Speaker:did not exist. You would call somebody's house and the phone
Speaker:rang, and either they picked it up or they didn't, but they
Speaker:could be in the back. Yeah, so you didn't know if people were
Speaker:home or not, so you would just, I'm sure younger generations are
Speaker:cringing if you're listening to this right now, like, What do
Speaker:you mean? You just stopped by people's houses unannounced?
Speaker:Yeah, we did it all the time, and that's really changed. There
Speaker:was, like, this open invitation, hey, if you're in the area. If
Speaker:you're in the neighborhood, I love you. You love me. We're
Speaker:pals, we're friends, we're family. Stop by. That was a
Speaker:thing, and people did it, and they actually took advantage of
Speaker:it, because they actually, back then, wanted to see each other.
Speaker:They wanted to spend time together face to face, in
Speaker:proximity, in the present, right in each other's energy, right?
Speaker:In presence, right? We like that. We liked seeing each
Speaker:other. Now there's a comedian. I can't remember who it was, but
Speaker:he does this whole skit about, like, your doorbell rings and
Speaker:it's like you start to prepare your family for, like, home
Speaker:invasion or war, and like people are like, diving behind the
Speaker:couch and hiding behind the curtains and peeking. It's like,
Speaker:Oh, my God, who would dare come to my front door? You know what
Speaker:I mean? There was like, clearly, there has been a shift in our
Speaker:collective consciousness and individually, obviously, as
Speaker:well, about what people constitute as kind of badging in
Speaker:and interrupting your peaceful time at home, or interrupting
Speaker:your home space or whatever. And even now, like our generation,
Speaker:we would actually just call each other. We wanted to talk to you.
Speaker:We would pick up the phone and call you. And now people like,
Speaker:Oh my God, why are they calling me? Like, I roll, I roll, I
Speaker:roll. And it's just like, cringe to like. Call people. It's like,
Speaker:Oh, why do I have to call and talk to you when I can just text
Speaker:you whatever. But there are those of us who are in the age
Speaker:group that we actually like to hear the sound of our friends
Speaker:voices. We actually like to I know for me in my work, right? I
Speaker:like to be able to see people so I can see their body language,
Speaker:or hear their tone of voice or whatever. Texting, for me is
Speaker:just like, yeah, it's fast. It can get the job done, but I
Speaker:would way prefer like, voice messages voicemail, so I can
Speaker:kind of get, like, more of that energetic hit, rather than just
Speaker:a bunch of words, especially these days when people don't use
Speaker:punctuation and stuff like that. I'm not that person. I'm still
Speaker:that old school pain in the ass. Yes, I capitalize words. My
Speaker:grandma. My grandma might be a little off. I don't worry about
Speaker:my grandma so much, but I actually try to, like, construct
Speaker:real sentences with punctuation and stuff not being mean to
Speaker:other people who don't choose that. That's your choice. That's
Speaker:your thing. But as a writer, it's just not going to happen.
Speaker:I'm going to I'm going to spell out words, right? I'm going to
Speaker:spell out words unless I'm writing WTF or S, T, F, U, once
Speaker:in a blue, blue moon, to be funny, but I like words. But
Speaker:here's my whole point. Is that something has happened in the
Speaker:collective where all of a sudden to just show up at people's
Speaker:houses is like a big like, I'm doing the big X, like the big no
Speaker:ant, do not do it. Ant. People don't like it, whatever. So that
Speaker:has gotten a lot of us to a place where we feel like it's
Speaker:inappropriate to just show up at somebody's house. And so this is
Speaker:where a direct invitation
Speaker:really matters. Now let me break this down too. I'm going to kind
Speaker:of cover a couple of different scenarios and situations that
Speaker:I've experienced. So, number one, there is a habit of people,
Speaker:at least in my world, that I know, whether it's family
Speaker:members or people you grew up with, like whatever, and they'll
Speaker:say this to you, stop, stop by anytime, drop by anytime, which
Speaker:is now they're giving you an open invitation. Now to some
Speaker:people, that just sounds like, How fantastic is that they're
Speaker:just telling you stop by their house anytime they must love
Speaker:you, like you, whatever. Here's the thing, and I have explained
Speaker:this to several of my family members. Okay, when somebody
Speaker:says to me, yeah, drop by anytime. Stop by anytime, and
Speaker:they might see this as I don't want to how do I say this? I
Speaker:don't want to assume that I know why they're particularly saying
Speaker:this, but I can just tell what it feels like being on the end
Speaker:of this, and because the culture has changed so much, why I'm
Speaker:never gonna do that. Okay? So I have sat, literally sat down and
Speaker:said to a few people in my family, look, you say to me,
Speaker:just stop by. Just drop by anytime. Here's the problem with
Speaker:that in my brain. Now, some of you listening to this might not
Speaker:agree with me, that's fine. You can just stop listening, go your
Speaker:own way, or keep listening and maybe learn why, or hear why it
Speaker:might not be super comfy or all that warm and fuzzy to those of
Speaker:us on the receiving end of that. So here are some of the things
Speaker:that I specifically pointed out. Number one, if you live more
Speaker:than like 15 minutes from me, right? If you're talking like 20
Speaker:minutes, 25 minutes, a half an hour, 45 an hour away my family
Speaker:down in mass and stuff, still, I am not going to get in my car
Speaker:and drive an hour with the fingers crossed and hope that
Speaker:maybe you're going to be at home, right? I'm not just going
Speaker:to, like, drop it, because it takes a certain amount of, like,
Speaker:time, money, gas, whatever effort like to, like, go and do
Speaker:that thing. Number one, I'm probably not just gonna happen
Speaker:to be in your neighborhood, unless I'm already down in
Speaker:Massachusetts visiting somebody else or going to the cemetery or
Speaker:doing whatever, handling business or whatever. Okay,
Speaker:that's number one. Number two, when you just do that thing and
Speaker:you say, oh, drop by anytime, what you're essentially doing is
Speaker:you are basically kind of throwing our relationship to the
Speaker:wind in a way, meaning this now that implies that there is no
Speaker:effort on your part from this time forward where you have to
Speaker:think about me, make plans with me, make an effort to actually
Speaker:get together and have a relationship with me and
Speaker:communicate with me and spend time with me. Because what
Speaker:you're doing basically is you're taking the ball, call it or call
Speaker:it the hot potato. You're lobbing it into my court, and
Speaker:you're just doing this open invitation thing where it's
Speaker:like, yeah, stop by anytime. A, if you know me at all, you'll
Speaker:know I'm not going to do that. And B, now you have no
Speaker:responsibility or effort to feed into the relationship, to make a
Speaker:concerted effort to make a specific. It thick, right? Plan
Speaker:with Me, and then, if we just don't see each other, and then I
Speaker:say to you, I haven't seen you in a long time. What you'll say
Speaker:to me a lot of times is, or what has been said to me is, well, I
Speaker:told you you can stop by anytime, okay, yeah, that, to me
Speaker:is what I call lazy invitation, that open ended, whatever
Speaker:invitation. That's how it feels, because for a lot of people, and
Speaker:this isn't just me, okay? Now, this is me personally, right? I
Speaker:don't like to do that. I mean, I love to surprise people, but I'm
Speaker:not just going to show up at your house without warning,
Speaker:right? I would call you first, or text you or whatever. But I'm
Speaker:not just gonna just like, like photo, you know how like you can
Speaker:photo bomb somebody. No, I'm not just gonna like house bomb you.
Speaker:Okay. Number two, it's like, so that's me in particular. But
Speaker:then also kids who grew up feeling like a burden, feeling
Speaker:like just their very existence was putting people out right.
Speaker:Kids who felt like that like their needs were too much. What
Speaker:they wanted was too much like their parents, their caretakers,
Speaker:their siblings, their guardians, whoever it was, if they ever
Speaker:made that kid feel like it like the parents, life would be
Speaker:easier if they weren't born or around or like whatever. There
Speaker:are people who feel like to drop by would be just unannounced, to
Speaker:just show up whatever would be a burden. They don't want to
Speaker:inconvenience other people. They don't want to surprise people in
Speaker:a bad way. And then there are certain cultures of people,
Speaker:friends I grew up with in in Lawrence mass that I know where
Speaker:it was like they were taught as kids. You do not go to
Speaker:somebody's house unannounced. You do not go to the house and
Speaker:overstay your welcome. You do not go to the house uninvited.
Speaker:You do not go to the house and like go in the fridge or eat
Speaker:their food, or imposition your hosts in any way, right? So
Speaker:sometimes it's culturally, sometimes it's just your own
Speaker:upbringing and what you experience. Sometimes it's a
Speaker:personal thing where you're like, I just don't want to be a
Speaker:burden to people. I hate feeling like a burden to other people.
Speaker:This is just something that, you know, I'm aware about myself. I
Speaker:don't like to put people out. You know, like some people are
Speaker:amazing hosts when they have you in their home. They know before
Speaker:you get there, what snacks you like, if you like your water
Speaker:cold or room temperature. Like, there are people who just make
Speaker:you feel so welcome, right? Part of what makes you feel so
Speaker:welcome is the way that they invite you. So right now I'm
Speaker:kind of talking about, like, how not to do an invitation well,
Speaker:like, not, it's not that it's a bad invitation. It's a very New
Speaker:England thing to say, Hey kid, when you're in the neighborhood,
Speaker:drop by. Love to see you anytime, like, whatever, right?
Speaker:But a lot of people know you're not going to do that, so it's
Speaker:kind of like a lazy blanket. I'm not calling people lazy, I'm
Speaker:just saying it's kind of like this an invitation that actually
Speaker:doesn't have to be followed up on, which makes the person who
Speaker:say it say it feel good, like they did their part, like they
Speaker:invested somehow in the relationship, where, to me, it
Speaker:just feels like a really weak invitation. Let me give you
Speaker:another example of a weak invitation, and if this has ever
Speaker:happened to you, double A men hands me right now and tell me
Speaker:how you can even write to me, write to me, and tell me how it
Speaker:feels when you get this kind of invitation, right. Somebody is
Speaker:having a patty, somebody is having folks over for dinner,
Speaker:somebody's going to a movie with a few friends, somebody's going
Speaker:to a sporting event, like, whatever, right? And you find
Speaker:out about it, and you ask them about it, or you hear about it,
Speaker:or it comes up in conversation, and the person turns to you and
Speaker:says, Well, you can come if you want to. You can come with us if
Speaker:you want to. Oh, I'm like, grabbing my face. Now I
Speaker:understand again. I'm nitpicking here. I'm getting into the
Speaker:semantics of language, because what's missing in that
Speaker:invitation is the person who's saying that you can come if you
Speaker:want to is clearly kind of making you feel that. Like, how
Speaker:do I say this? I don't necessarily want you there. I'm
Speaker:not inviting you outright, but like, if you want to come, like
Speaker:you can come to me that is not a warm and fuzzy invitation. If
Speaker:some somebody says to me, Well, if you want to come, you can and
Speaker:I'll almost always say, Well, do you want me to come? Do you want
Speaker:me there? Because if I feel like my presence is. To ruin your
Speaker:good time if I feel like you actually don't want me there.
Speaker:I'm not really big into going into places where I don't feel
Speaker:welcome or invited. Now I always say this caveat. That doesn't
Speaker:mean that I'm not going to show up at some demonstration or some
Speaker:rally or some protest or something, right? There are
Speaker:times when it is appropriate to go where you are not wanted and
Speaker:you are not invited, right? To use your voice. Stand up. Stand
Speaker:up. You know, stand up. You know, show up. Say what you got
Speaker:to say, use your voice, whatever. I'm not talking about
Speaker:that. I'm talking about these relationships with your friends,
Speaker:your family members, your co workers, whatever. And when
Speaker:somebody says that kind of, it's like a lame that's like a lame
Speaker:invitation. Well, you can come if you want to. I'm like, oh,
Speaker:because what I'm picking up, right? Because I'm a wicked
Speaker:sensitive person, and I'm hyper aware of people's body language,
Speaker:tone of voice, the words they choose or don't choose, or say
Speaker:or don't say, you know, I can tell. I'm like, Oh, you actually
Speaker:are not that excited about me being there. So their words,
Speaker:their mouth is moving, and I'm doing this thing with my hands.
Speaker:Their mouth is moving, flap, flap, flap of the gums. But
Speaker:their eyes are saying something different, their energy, their
Speaker:tone of voice, people know when they are truly welcome into your
Speaker:home, into your life, into your hat, right? Do you know what I'm
Speaker:saying? So double A men hands, if you've ever gotten one of
Speaker:those, well, you can come if you want to. You want to.
Speaker:Okay, the best way, right? The best way to invite people is to
Speaker:directly invite them, like make it wicked clear what your
Speaker:intentions are. Make it wicked clear what your feelings are
Speaker:towards them. There's a way different thing of saying to
Speaker:somebody, yeah, the doors are always open. Stop by anytime.
Speaker:Hey, if you can come, if you want to, like my sister, you
Speaker:know, I'm making this up. My sister's having people over at a
Speaker:house. They got a pool. It's fun. Like, if you want to come,
Speaker:you can come. No, that's I'm not going to that. I'm not going to
Speaker:either of those scenarios, right? But if you say to me,
Speaker:Hey, I'm just calling to let you know we got tickets to this
Speaker:show, and I would love for you to join us. I'm wicked excited.
Speaker:I really think you'll love this band. I love we always have such
Speaker:a good time. We're together. Will you come with me? Please? I
Speaker:would love for you to be there. Do you see how that feels really
Speaker:different. And I get it like a lot of times we How do I say
Speaker:this? We're afraid to let people down. We're afraid to seem mean.
Speaker:We're afraid so we do like wishy washy. We do like indirect and
Speaker:it's not so much that it's passive aggressive. It's just
Speaker:passive inviting. Passive inviting where there's no effort
Speaker:involved on your part, and maybe you really don't want that
Speaker:person to like come for whatever reason. That's fine, you know,
Speaker:but we can be a little more direct with people, like leaving
Speaker:people feeling and not that you make anybody feel anything. It's
Speaker:up to that person to decide how they want to feel about it. Like
Speaker:me, I get an open invitation, I'm going to decide that I'm
Speaker:probably not going to do that thing unless I call first, and
Speaker:then I say, Hey, I'm in the neighborhood. I don't get down
Speaker:this way. I'm only down this way. Like, every four months,
Speaker:like, if you're in town, I'd love to see you blah, blah,
Speaker:blah, whatever, right? But there's just a sort of like
Speaker:lackadaisical kind of energy and effort that gets put into our
Speaker:relating these days. And I think more and more and more people,
Speaker:you know, I'm thinking about doing some writing workshops,
Speaker:some salons, things that I've done for a really long time, but
Speaker:I haven't done one in person in a really long time, you know.
Speaker:And I went at the beginning of this year, I also was doing some
Speaker:online yoga teaching. And like, that's fine. Look, I can teach
Speaker:yoga online. That's fine. You know, I had a TV show for 13
Speaker:years teaching into a camera. It's fine, but it's way
Speaker:different when you are in person, when you're in the room
Speaker:with other people's heartbeats in their breath and their bodies
Speaker:in their movement when you can actually, when I can actually
Speaker:put my hands on people, you know, and give them a little, a
Speaker:little adjustment, or a little wishy, wishy at the end of yoga
Speaker:class, right? A little head massage, a little whatever. It's
Speaker:way different when you're in the room. And so I think, and people
Speaker:can blame it on covid, I think, you know, in the whole pandemic
Speaker:and the separation and, you know, all that stuff, but I
Speaker:think we were already moving in that direction, way pre covid,
Speaker:where people were just kind of moving into their own little
Speaker:bubbles. And I get it, everybody has to decide what the right
Speaker:distance is for them when it comes to certain relationships,
Speaker:people, whatever. But if we are going to be in relationships and
Speaker:friendships, intimate, professional, personal or
Speaker:otherwise, the way that we invite people into our world
Speaker:matters, and the words that you choose have an impact. They make
Speaker:a difference. So I'm just. Saying, if you're going to
Speaker:invite people, do it warmly. Do it wholeheartedly. Do it with
Speaker:energy and enthusiasm and intention, and let them know,
Speaker:right, that you're specifically inviting them that you would
Speaker:love for them to be there, right? And a lot of times,
Speaker:things just get done, and I get it RSVP electronically, like
Speaker:whatever data. But we can always put a little personal touch on
Speaker:things. We could always put a little extra love on things, a
Speaker:little extra kindness, a little more warmth and effort. And you
Speaker:know, the thing is, is that it's so everybody wants everything. I
Speaker:shouldn't say everybody, so many people these days want things to
Speaker:just be fast, convenient, easy. It's almost like robotic, non
Speaker:human look. Humans are messy. Humans are a little bit messy,
Speaker:meaning dealing with different peoples, right? Their histories,
Speaker:their preferences, their personalities, their patterns,
Speaker:right? It's not always smooth ceiling when you have to deal
Speaker:with others, with other people, we can be a pain in the ass,
Speaker:can't we? But I'll tell you, nothing feels well. I'm sure
Speaker:there's there are some things that feel better, but you know
Speaker:what it does? It feels wicked good to know that somebody else
Speaker:is requesting your presence, that somebody else wants to
Speaker:spend time with you, that somebody else sees you and loves
Speaker:you, thinks you're fun or fantastic, they want to be with
Speaker:you. Like to get invited into a space where you know you're
Speaker:going to be seen, you're going to be held, you're going to your
Speaker:voice matters what you're thinking matters what you're
Speaker:feeling, matters that you belong there, and that's so much about
Speaker:what the good welcome does. Right? The good welcome makes
Speaker:people feel or helps people to feel like they belong, not only
Speaker:that, that they're wanted and to feel wanted, it kind of all
Speaker:those other kind of insecurities and beliefs, beliefs and stories
Speaker:and narratives that people write about not being worthy, not
Speaker:being good enough, not being lovable, not being fill in the
Speaker:blank, right? They're too much. This not enough that these,
Speaker:these kind of like beliefs that we got inherited. If you listen
Speaker:to my last episode, these beliefs, these stories, these
Speaker:narratives that that get passed down to us, that we inherit what
Speaker:we start to feel like, right? Who am I to be in that room? Me
Speaker:all the shit when somebody gives you a really genuine, sincere
Speaker:welcome, where they put energy and time and intention into it,
Speaker:and you can feel their heart. You can feel that wholeness,
Speaker:that holiness of that invitation, where they want you
Speaker:to come into the fold of their home, their party, their event,
Speaker:their relationship, work with you. Whatever it is. It's a
Speaker:beautiful, beautiful thing to be directly and specifically,
Speaker:intentionally invited, and it quiets all that other noise. It
Speaker:just quiets, well, they invited me. They seemed excited. They
Speaker:wanted me there. Then it gets to, you know, it helps other
Speaker:people to start to question those negative narratives, those
Speaker:not so helpful narratives, of, I'm not good enough, I don't
Speaker:belong, I'm not worthy, I'm not welcome. It's like, nope.
Speaker:And we see this acting out, like on a mass scale too. I mean, so
Speaker:much right now that's going on in the country is we're telling,
Speaker:quote, unquote others, I'm doing big air quotes others, that
Speaker:they're not welcome here. Like, what are you what? I don't even
Speaker:get me started. Don't even get me started. I often say to
Speaker:myself, you know, it's so fascinating to me how arrogant
Speaker:white people can be thinking that this is their country. I'm
Speaker:like, people can't be immigrants if they were already here and
Speaker:you invaded the space. It's not that's not, that's not how this
Speaker:shit works. People can't be immigrants if you brought them
Speaker:over on slave ships and shit. You know what I'm saying? Like,
Speaker:I just think, like, there's so much we are poorly welcoming so
Speaker:many people right now. And I don't know, I grew up in
Speaker:Lawrence Massachusetts. Man Lawrence. Massachusetts was a
Speaker:cultural melting pot. It was the immigrant city. And I will say,
Speaker:all that color, all that language, all that cultural, you
Speaker:know, like kaleidoscope, it was a beautiful thing. I am better
Speaker:off for having been raised in that environment. And, you know,
Speaker:I often jokingly say it's kind of weird sometimes living in a
Speaker:state that's like one of, like, the second whitest state in the
Speaker:United States, so, and I'm back, I just had to say, and I'm back.
Speaker:But this is what I wanted to say, is I hope that if you
Speaker:listen to this show now, look, there might be things that I.
Speaker:Say where we don't always agree politically, professionally,
Speaker:personally or otherwise, but I try to welcome like people into
Speaker:my world in a way where I'm like, Look, come in now, I can't
Speaker:guarantee this is a safe space for you, because you and your
Speaker:nervous system are the ones that decide what's safe. But I can do
Speaker:my best to say, Hey, come on in now, because I'm very honest and
Speaker:direct. There might be times when you don't like what I say,
Speaker:but my intention is never to be mean. My intention is never to
Speaker:be harmful, right? We just I just might sometimes say some
Speaker:shit that like you don't like, and that's okay, right? We're
Speaker:humans. We get to disagree with each other, but my intention
Speaker:always is, is to have an invitation from the hot. To have
Speaker:an invitation from the hot. And, you know, because this is an
Speaker:online thing, I'm not doing this in person. You know, I do, kind
Speaker:of do an open invitation. And I ask people like, hey, if this
Speaker:podcast, like, if it benefited you, if you love this episode,
Speaker:if you got something good from it, it was helpful in some way.
Speaker:Please share it with somebody. Please pass it on. Invite them
Speaker:into the Karen Kenney show, podcast, family into the
Speaker:community, right? It is kind of an open invitation that way. And
Speaker:I would love someday, I don't know it'd be so fun to like,
Speaker:record an episode like in person. Sometimes, I'm not sure
Speaker:what that would look like, but that would be wicked fun. Or to
Speaker:even do, like a call in I've said before, I'd love to do a
Speaker:show where people can just write in some questions, and I would
Speaker:answer them on the thing. So if you ever have a question, send
Speaker:it in. I'll do my best to like respond online and see what I
Speaker:can. Maybe I'll be helpful in some way to somebody. But I hope
Speaker:this is hope this has been helpful to you this particular
Speaker:episode, either it helps you to maybe figure out why some
Speaker:invitations have felt a little icky or just not that great,
Speaker:like in your body, or like Ill like that did not feel soothing,
Speaker:or it might help you to identify with the fact that maybe you
Speaker:felt like a burden your whole life. That's why you don't like
Speaker:to ask for help, or why, like, maybe culturally, or just some
Speaker:stories you've written about yourself that you don't want to
Speaker:be a pain to anybody or whatever. But here's the thing
Speaker:people one of the things I learned about asking for help is
Speaker:that people get to say no. So my asking doesn't have to be a
Speaker:burden. I will do whatever I can in my own power to, like, help
Speaker:myself first. But if I hit a wall and I get to a place where
Speaker:I'm like, I don't know how to do this, or I need, like,
Speaker:literally, physical help or whatever, I'm going to ask, and
Speaker:people have the ability and the opportunity, right? They have
Speaker:the right to say no. So look it, you're not a burden to people.
Speaker:You know, if you start to suspect you're a burden, take a
Speaker:look around. Like, take a clear moral inventory. Take a look at
Speaker:your behaviors. Maybe you have been taking advantage of some
Speaker:people, and then cut the shit. Get you get it right. Like, cut
Speaker:it out, knock it off, right? But most of us, in general, when we
Speaker:feel like we're a bird and not some old stories that we've kind
Speaker:of implanted, like into our own brains and put into our own
Speaker:narrative, and those stories aren't particularly helpful,
Speaker:because they keep us separate. And what else? The other thing
Speaker:that keeps us separate is kind of these ways of doing things
Speaker:where we we don't make specific energy in inviting people into
Speaker:our homes, our lives, our world, in the most loving way. And
Speaker:maybe this will help you if you're that listener to if you
Speaker:want to do it better, I gave you some examples, right? Make it
Speaker:specific. Make it even fancy. Send written invitations,
Speaker:handwritten invitations, like send it in the mail or take a
Speaker:picture and text it. You are cordially invited, but
Speaker:personalize it. Personalize it. Have a little energy. Have a
Speaker:little enthusiasm. Have a little warmth. Have a little hot,
Speaker:right? Have a little kind of generosity in your in your offer
Speaker:to invite people to come have an experience with you, or spend
Speaker:time with you, or whatever. We like to be seen. We like to feel
Speaker:like we met up and that our presence, like your presence has
Speaker:been requested, right? Like, how cool is that to feel like your
Speaker:specific presence has been requested? It's a beautiful
Speaker:feeling. It's a beautiful gift to give. It's a beautiful gift
Speaker:to receive, and the person who extends the invitation you're
Speaker:also receiving, because when you see somebody's face light up
Speaker:like you, you invited me. You want me to be to at your kid's
Speaker:birthday party or your shower, or your graduation, or whatever,
Speaker:your wedding, these big moments in life, or just, hey, I'm
Speaker:having a get together at my house on Saturday. We're having,
Speaker:like, you know, a vegan barbecue, whatever, like, come
Speaker:on by. So it just matters. It matters. This is how we build
Speaker:connections. And nowadays, in a world where we have so much
Speaker:separation, so much suffering, so much sickness, so much
Speaker:division, right people coming together right now, really,
Speaker:really matters, and it makes a difference, and it's a beautiful
Speaker:way to spread more love in the world, which is one of the
Speaker:reasons why I do this show. Okay, that's it. I don't know
Speaker:how fast and smooth or I was. I don't know if it was short and
Speaker:sweet. I'm gonna wrap it up, though. Okay, thank you so much
Speaker:for listening. I appreciate you. If you want to find out what I'm
Speaker:up to go to Karen kenney.com it's Ke. N, E, y.com, if you
Speaker:want to get on my email list, my newsletter list to receive like
Speaker:this podcast right into your inbox, find out what I'm up. To
Speaker:find out when classes and things are happening. It's just Karen
Speaker:kenney.com backslash. Sign up. One word. Sign up if you want to
Speaker:work together. It's just again. Karen kenney.com, Nest, N, E, S
Speaker:t, if you want to work one to one, it's Karen kenney.com
Speaker:quest, so easy to find everything on my website. I hope
Speaker:you're having a fantastic day wherever you go in the world.
Speaker:May you leave the animals, the other people, yourself, the
Speaker:environment and the planet better than how you first found
Speaker:it wherever you go, may you and your energy and your presence
Speaker:and your love and your invitation be a blessing. Bye,
Speaker:bye.
