SAME SH*T - DIFFERENT DAY

Karen Kenney: 00:00:02

Hey, welcome to the Karen Kenny show. Oh, wait. If you're listening to this, and not watching it, you can see the weird thing that I just did. Okay, I had some papers here with my notes on them because I got some important shit I want to say. So how are you welcome. Thank you for tuning in. I'm so happy to be here with you. So thank you so much. If you're new to the show, welcome, welcome. Come on in. If you've been here a while, just thank you so much for being a loyal listener, I appreciate you and I love you. And it means so much to me that you're choosing to stick around. Once Once you see that I'm kind of a little weirdo, but you might be like more, but the fact that you decided to stay just makes my little hat. So happy. Okay, check this one out. So this episode is called I kept going back and forth, I had like three different titles. Three different titles for this. One is was going to be ground Groundhog's Day, another one was going to be never too late to change. And then another the one I ended up going with is same shit different day. Of course, of course, I'm going to tell you some little stories along the way, and break it down for you. So I always like if you're new to the show, I always like to tell some stories. Or sometimes I will start with a spiritual principle and then use some stories to kind of make my point or to show you an example, or something like that. But this one, I'm actually going to just start with a tiny little story. And then I'm going to dive into and kind of reverse engineer what I'm talking about with this. But if you're a New England kid, you are probably especially if you're like a Massachusetts or Merrimack Valley or, you know, kid, little Masshole little Masshole kid. If your parents were blue collar working class, then you have probably heard the same before. But when I was a kid, people would often ask my stepfather, you know, I'd hear him say like, hey, hey, hey, Bobby, how you doing? And he would say, ah, same shit different day. So I grew up, I grew up hearing this right? And what it makes me think about is what people are kind of saying is yeah, the calendar is changing. It might be Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, new day, might even be a new month might even be a whole new season, right? It might be winter, spring, summer, fall, whatever. However, even though other things are changing, the same shit is going on and whether it's I'm still at the same job, I'm still married to the same person. I still got money problems, I still got whatever my kids attitude, whatever, whatever the thing is, same shit. Different day. Right? And it got me to thinking because recently, like in February, right, they do that whole thing. I mean, it just bums me out that they bother the groundhog. Gramlich leaves a little groundhog alone. But they do that whole thing right about like Groundhog's Day, and they want to see if you can see a shadow and it's going to predict the future and the weather, whatever. But while I was seeing that, it also made me think about that movie, Groundhog's Day with Bill Murray. And if you've never seen that film, basically the premise is, is this guy who wakes up in every day he wakes up, it's the same exact day. And he's kind of like in this loop of his life. And the same thing is gonna continue to happen until he decides to do something different. He needs to shift something, change something, transform something, do something new. That's how he gets out of that loop. And I think as human beings, as people in the audience watching that movie, we were like, Bill, like, yeah, okay, that was kind of an extreme the way the story unfolded. But sometimes we can feel that way too, right. And I think that we can recognize, right when he's in that loop and the same shit, it just keeps happening, keeps happening and keeps happening. I'm sure there have been times in your own life. And look, there are 1000 examples I could give you. Like, let's say that you're in a relationship. Or let's just say this. Let's say you got out of a relationship and you broke up with somebody and you promised yourself, I'm not going to text them again. I'm not going to call them again. I'm not going to do that again. And there it is. There it is. You find yourself with your phone in your hand, doing a little speed dial a little drunk dial and maybe a little booty call to aim people back in the day. You know what I'm talking about. We were all young ones, weren't we Okay, but right, you might have a habit or, you know, an addiction or something in your life and you're like, I'm not going to do that I'm not going to eat the chocolate, I'm not going to watch the porn, I'm not going to drink the booze, I'm not going to do the thing, right? And then there you are doing the same old thing. And it's interesting, because we'll be aware. And I talked about this, and I'm going to do a whole podcast about this about like, symptom problem solution. But a lot of times we are symptom aware, we are aware that something isn't right. And whether it's something physical, something emotional, something mental, something spiritual, we know something is off. And we say like, this isn't working, like I know that this is no longer working for me. I'm not happy. I'm not content, I'm not at peace. I'm not feeling healthy. I'm not feeling like I'm getting enough rest, like fill in the blank, right? There's so many things that can go wrong and the human experience, as I always say, this being human is like an ongoing problem. And once we recognize, okay, there's something that's off here, or I want to change something, here's what starts to happen. And this is kind of the crux of this episode, we say we want to change. Now just double A man hands double Amen hands, if you can relate to what I'm about to say, we say we want to change, like you say, you want to do something different. You say you want to be different somehow. And no matter how much you tell yourself, I'm not going to do that thing, or I'm going to start doing that thing, I'm going to stop doing that thing, I'm going to do something different. Lo and behold, you find yourself, right, you're like I'm not going to do X, Y and Z again, like fill in the blank, I'm not gonna fill in the blank. Again, right? And we say this to ourselves, no matter how many times we say I'm not going to do XY and Z again. There you are, an hour later, a day later, three days or whatever it is amount of time later, then you are just doing the same shit all over again. And it can be really what's the word I'm looking for? discouraging? It can sometimes feel discouraging when you feel like you're stuck, or you can't get out of your own way. You know what I mean? It's like, why, like, Why do I keep saying I'm gonna do this thing, or change a thing or go to bed earlier or not sleep with my phone by the bed, or I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna start working out or I'm gonna get up and start doing a DSP, a daily spiritual practice, or I'm gonna start showing up early to things right. I'm gonna X, Y, and Z, I'm not gonna procrastinate anymore, like whatever it is. So when we bump up against this, like desire to do something, or say we're going to do something, and then we don't do it, okay, so in yoga, we might call this a samskaara. A Sam samskaara, which can also kind of be translated as like a habit pattern, a mental impression, something that is in the subconscious mind. And whatever is living in our unconscious, right, the subconscious, some people call it the subconscious or the unconscious, I'm going to use them interchangeably, just so I'm hitting all my bases here. But what lives in your unconscious is going to influence your inner drive, it's going to influence who you are, how you show up, right? It's going to have an effect not only on your present and what you're doing here, but it's also going to affect your future. Your future thoughts, your future words, your future choices, your future behaviors, your future actions, because what lives in there, you know what you think, Okay, listen to this, you think do say feel or believe something enough times.

Karen Kenney: 00:09:02

It creates like a well worn groove. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna say this in a couple of different ways. Okay, so In yoga we call this habit pattern, this mental impression this thing, I'm not going to go into it much deeper than that. Just just know that I find it fascinating that neuroscientists and all these people you know, talk about habits and patterns and all these things as like almost like it's I'm not going to say it's super new but like fairly new right and humankind in that timeline. But Yogi's have known about this shit for a wicked long time. They've been talking about the mental impressions and why we do what we do and say it we say not set for a really long time. Okay? So when we think something enough times when we say something enough times when we do something enough times when we feel something enough times when we believe something enough times when we tell a story enough times it creates It's a well worn groove. This is what I, this is how I think about it. Okay, we can also talk about it like a neural network. And I'm going to do that in a second. But just kind of stay with this, stay with this imagery for just a moment. Okay, so whether we want to call it a well worn groove, whether we want to call it a pattern or a habit, or a pathway in the neural network of your brain, okay? So think about this in nature. Like I always use this example. I don't know why. And I don't know why it first came to me. But I always have this image in my head. Imagine that your house, imagine you're a kid, and you live in this house, and your school, let's imagine like your property abuts a little patch of woods, and then on the little like, like a little one, just a little one. And then on the other side, and once you get all scary going through the woods, but just imagine like through the trees, you could like see your school on the other side of that little patch of woods. So like your backyard abuts this little foresty patchy thing. And then right after that you can see you know, like the the playground of your school. Now, if you're a kid, you're probably just gonna cut through that little section of like trees, to get to school. Now, let's say your school is like K through eighth grade, and you never move, right, you're gonna just keep cutting through that little patch, and you're gonna walk it and as you're walking through, right, as you're growing, right, you're gonna keep hitting the plants, you're gonna keep making a path and eventually write that path that has gone down 1000 Plus, whatever times, right back and forth every day, or at least five days a week, it's going to turn into a well worn groove. Now, it's not probably ever going to occur to you to instead of cutting through your back yard, to using your little path to go to the school, it's probably not going to occur to you, like, oh, I can go out my front door, bang, right? Bang, another right bang another right? And it's going to take me to the front of the school. It's like, why would I do that, that's the longer way that's the harder way. And here's what we know, the brain likes to save you time the brain is trying to be efficient, the brain likes to do what's familiar. So it doesn't even occur to you know, you're gonna keep doing the same well worn path, from your, from your back yard, to the school yard, right Baghdad to the school yard, cutting through that path every day getting deeper and deeper, like wearing down that path. Now, imagine that Timmy moves in next door. And Timmy likes to ride his bike to school, or Timmy rides a skateboard or Timmy wants to walk the new way or Timmies mom asked your mom to take have you walk him around? Because he doesn't know he's a new kid. He doesn't know about the path or the secret pathway in your backyard yet. So maybe because there's a new influence, right? There's a new way of doing something, you might now go the other way and try something new. And you might discover when I go the other way, I no longer have to be afraid. Right? When it starts to get dark in the winter when I'm coming back and forth. Like I'm afraid kind of of the trees and you're like, oh, I can go this way. And when I walk that way with Timmy when I do a new path, right? I get to see, you know, Mr. Thompson's little dog that I love. And then the next house, you know, they have like apples, there's an apple tree and I can grab whatever. But if you never go that way, you keep doing the same shit. And here's what happens. When we get into a groove that is no longer groovy, you know what I'm saying? When we create a well worn path, we can also start to call that sucker a rut. And if you've ever gotten into a rut, you know, and I'm gonna do a whole podcast, I think about getting out of ruts. But when we get into a rut, right, that's no longer a groove. It's now a rut and it's hard to get out of that sucker. So here's the thing. You walk it long enough, you do it long enough, right? It can become not only a path but a rut. So Rick Hansen, who's a super duper smarty pants, he has this quote, he says in the brain, neurons that fire together, wire together. Okay, so we're creating a stronger neural network in our brain between neurons every time we do something again and again and again and again. And if we do that, we do something again, if we think it see it, feel it, right. Believe it bla bla bla enough times, right? It becomes a habituated pattern. And that makes it easier to keep doing the damn thing. but it also makes it harder to stop. Now your subconscious mind, you've heard me say this before. Your subconscious mind is kind of running the show. It runs 95 to 98% of what goes on up there and your your noggin, right. And what's going on in your thoughts up in your noggin is what's informing your words, your actions, your choices, your behaviors, like how you're being and who you are being in the world. And sometimes, that what the subconscious, and I'm going to make that connection about why we say we want to change something, and then yet we can't quite do it. Right. And it's because the subconscious mind is not playing nicely with the conscious mind. Okay, they're at odds with one another. They're not in alignment, they're not speaking the same language, as I might say, que they're not, they're not, does not play well with others.

Karen Kenney: 00:16:04

Okay, so when that happens, though, when you keep saying like, Oh, I want to change, I'm going to change when they do this thing. And then it's like, no, you're not, and you don't do it, right. You can end up feeling like you're just either like, and you can insert your own words here. I'm just gonna give some examples. You can end up feeling like you're lazy, you're worthless, you're not smart enough, you're stupid, like all this stuff. It's like, what's wrong with me? Like, why can I do this, right, and then you'll get defeated, and a lot of people will just give up and stop trying, because it just feels too hard to change. And we're gonna dive more into this in a little bit. Okay, so when that happens, when you say you want to change, then you're not doing shit about it, like you keep repeating the same old stuff. When that happens, it's kind of revealing something to you, it's revealing that one part of you wants to change, but the other part maybe doesn't. So maybe your conscious mind is looking at your life. And it's saying this is kind of a mess. And I don't want to keep doing this, or I want to change this or fix that or transform it or whatever. Now, I also want to say this, sometimes we have to be with the thing, right? We're very quick to want to fix things and change things and whatever. But it can be really, really helpful to kind of sit with a thing to sit with the different parts of you, and to try to find out and ask questions and see what's going on. Because there is intelligence in wisdom, sometimes, in our procrastination in our not moving forward in our weight gain in our fill in the blank. In those things that we call our traumas that were like must fix, you know, must change, like my the bad, quote, unquote, those are my bad parts, those are my traumatic parts, there's a lot of wisdom in those parts of ourselves. So we don't want to just like, you know, push them off to the side or try to change them, because we don't want to look at it, because we think it's too ugly, or whatever, we have to show up with curiosity and compassion, to show up and do it in a way without judgment. And if we can do that, if we can try to be with those parts of ourselves, and sometimes we need help doing that, I'm gonna get to that as well. Right? It can be really, really helpful to not just label parts of ourselves is bad. Because when we start to do that, what will happen is we'll start to abandon ourselves, we'll start to abandon different parts of ourselves. We won't give them a voice. You guys have heard me talk about Vicki with two K's from Lawrence, like one of my pots, right? You always hear me say I got a part of me a part of my personality Vicki with two kids from Lawrence. And I give her a voice. I listen to what she's saying. Because when she's when something within me is like kind of getting riled up, right? Some people might say, Oh, I got triggered, or somebody pushed my button or when you're having a strong reaction to something, or when Vicki comes like roaring into my head, I'll be like, Okay, I want to look at that and give that a voice and ask what's really going on here? Like, how old am I really meaning what younger version of me what younger part of me is having a problem or is bumping or pushing back against whatever is happening. So that's just and I can I'll do it probably do a whole other podcast about all of that this piece that I'm talking about. But I think it's wicked important that we don't just take these things that have happened to us that we feel like maybe aren't acceptable, maybe things we have shame around, maybe things we're embarrassed about, maybe things we feel guilty about, maybe things that hurt us or things we've done or whatever, you know, it can be really powerful. If you can create a safe and compassionate compassionate space. You know, I've I've often said that shame goes away when our stories are told in safe places. That's how shame dies. That's how shame goes away. We start to look at it through a new lens. That's another thing for another day. Okay, so here's the thing. When we're trying to make change, and we keep sabotaging or getting in our own way or whatever, okay, there can be some wisdom and intelligence there. So look at those things talk, talk to those parts of yourself to see what they might reveal. But what's also being revealed is that one part of you wants to change, but the other part doesn't. So there's what I look at it like this, I'm not saying this is the exact way or the right way, this is just how my brain processes this. There's what your conscious mind the front of your mind, right wants, versus what your subconscious mind believes is possible, or believes is safe. I'm going to say that, again, there's like the front part of your brain, right? The prefrontal cortex, where your conscious thinking and your decision making your your critical thinking your you know, that's not like super emotional, right? It's your rational analytical brain, it's like, yes, this thing keeps happening must stop must change want to do different, right, I'm going to change it. And so there's what the conscious part of your mind wants, versus what the subconscious mind believes is possible, is safe. Or if you're worthy. Let me give you some examples, I'm going to I'm going to say these and some of these might resonate with you, you might say something like this, right. And I think I'll give enough examples that you'll be able to make your own after, after I there's like six or seven of these, okay, I want right in front of my brain is that there's the first half of the sentences, I want to write a book. And then the subconscious mind, right, remember 95 to 98% of what we think, say do and feel whatever is coming from the subconscious. So we have this front of brain idea, like I want to write a book. But back here, if there's a belief, right, the subconscious says, but it's not okay to put those stories out there. I want to stop drinking, right? These are just examples. These aren't all me or anything like that. But I don't know what it's like to do things, to do my life to do these things sober. I want to start a business. But I don't think I'm smart enough. I want to have close relationships and friendships. But I don't believe I deserve it. I want to fall in love. But I don't think I'm worthy of love. I want to learn how to be more vulnerable. But I don't believe I can trust people. And if I'm vulnerable, right, they're going to be able to hurt me. I want to save and invest money. But I've never been good with money. So again, there's what the subconscious is what the conscious mind thinks it's what it wants. Right? There's what the the conscious mind says that it wants to do. This is what I want to become. It says these things, and then the and then the subconscious mind. And I always say this. Katie, if you're listening, I know this is gonna make you laugh. Okay, I'll always be like, I get like, if I get really excited, I say this to myself just as a joke, because it makes me laugh. And then when one of my friends says this to me, I always say this back to him. So the subconscious, the conscious mind is always like, I'm gonna do this thing. And it gets all excited and it gets all worked up. And then the subconscious is like, hey, hey, hey, kid, calm down over there, relax over there, back and relax, slow your roll. Right? That's what's kind of happening. Right? So we get we make these big, like resolutions, and I'm gonna do this whole thing, and I'm gonna get the habit tracker, and I'm gonna sit down every day and meditate. It's like maybe, maybe. But if we're not dealing with the subconscious beliefs, if we're not dealing with those old stories, if we're not rewiring, how this noggin works up there, because we've got some well worn grooves, we've got a few ruts even. Okay, so when you have one part of you that wants to move forward, and the other one is saying like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, what happens is, it's like stepping on the gas and the brakes at the same time. Satin stop, start and stop, start and stop. If you're watching the show, you can see me I'm kind of like going back and forth like right it gets all Herky jerky. One part of you wants to go and the other part is saying no, thank you, ma'am. No, sir. Not happening. Okay. And then we wonder why when we try to do something different we keep breaking out word to ourselves. We wonder why why do I keep sabotaging myself. Feels like you're running in place. Keep doing, keep saying you're gonna change but then you keep doing the same thing over and over and over again. And here's the sad part about this. First of all, this isn't the sad part. But I want to say this is very normal PS. Welcome. Welcome to us being weird a little here. wins, right? This is what happens. Because again, the brain is always trying to keep you safe. And it would rather have an unsafe known, then try a safe unknown. It likes to get your brain your nervous system, it likes to stay in what's familiar, even if what's familiar is hell is suffering is abusive is not healthy is not good, right? Because at least it's a familiar hell and you know what to expect. Okay? So if we keep trying to change, and then we keep, you know, like getting in our own way, and not taking action, not doing the thing, what happens is we start to think things like, transformation is out of reach. We start to think change is too hot. We start to think it's too late for me. What do they say you can teach old dogs, new tricks. That's bullshit PS, by the way,

Karen Kenney: 00:25:57

not true. Not true. I'm not saying your feelings may not feel true to you. But it's not. It's not true the brain has, the brain is malleable. That's why we call it neuro plasticity. It's like plastic, it can be shaped and molded, it can change, which is wicked, exciting news. And all of this got me thinking too, because my sweetie recently came in to one of my yoga classes, and we did live music and yoga together. And I always ask him to play at the end of the class, one of his original songs. And he has this incredible song called for the life of me. And if you want to see him perform it, just go to YouTube, go to YouTube, Chris Lester Le S T. Yeah, it's called for the life of me it's please playing it at Tupelo Music Hall, you'll see it. It's been up there for years. It's one of my favorite songs that he's ever written. And I'm not just biased, it's great. And when you want to see a killer guitar solo, like, go check the song out, it's very moving, I get emotional every time I listen to it. Not just because he's my sweetie. And he's talented, and his vocals are amazing, and all that. But the essence of this song, because the chorus, just keep saying it's never too late to change. It's never too late. It's never too late to change. It's the other reason why I was going to maybe call this episode that it's never too late to change. And when you hear this song, it's like so great. This is why you know how sometimes you keep playing your favorite song on loop. It's doing something to us. It's helping our nervous systems. I mean, some songs get that's why some songs get you amped up some songs, right help you to cry and move emotion. Some songs inspire us. It's like so anyways, so check it out if you want to. I wanted to do a little shout out about that. But here's another belief that I want to kind of bust through that change. I think it's even on on my it's been on the homepage of my website for years and years and years, which is that, you know, we can be a little bit happier. Life doesn't like it. Look, life is wicked hot. That is just facts. Wicked hard things are gonna happen to us. But things don't have to stay feeling wicked hot. When we get some tools in our toolkit, we get some tools in our tool belt, you know what I'm saying? So change doesn't have to be so hard. And why it often feels really hard to change? Well, one is because it often feels scary. Again, it's the safe unknown, even though it might be safe, right to change, to stop smoking, to stop drinking, to start working out to start doing maybe positive habits or things that you know, you think I'm not telling you. I'm not seeing what other people think like for you like you decide as an adult with authority, agency and autonomy. I want to start doing this thing. Okay. And it can feel wicked hard to change. One. Yes, because it feels scary, but also why it feels so hard to change is because we're often trying to change subconscious programming, subconscious problems, subconscious beliefs, with conscious tools. We try to change like, it's like, it's like if you ran a restaurant, and the cook was terrible, just a terrible shitty cook. Right? And you think you're gonna solve that problem by putting a new hostess out front is like no, you gotta go back there and either fire the cook or talk to the cook, hire a new cook or teach him some new ways of cooking. You can't change the back of the house by changing the front of the house. You know what I'm saying? Because the same shits gonna come out of the kitchen. Even if the hostess is being really friendly and pretty a nice. Okay, I hope that helps. Okay, and willpower alone doesn't always work. And a lot of times we're just like, I'm just gonna go cold turkey. I'm going to do this now. Look Some of us have really strong wills. There have been many things in my life that I have made a decision. I said, That's it, I'm done. I switch my identity from a smoker to a nonsmoker. I switch my identity to somebody who would drink alcohol occasionally to a non drinker. I went when I went from being a carnivore, right and omnivore to being vegan, right? There are things that we can say, you know, that we if we feel moved enough, I think sometimes I'm not speaking for everybody. I can only speak for myself. But willpower can play a role. But willpower alone often doesn't work. Now, look, I've been lucky enough. I've been lucky enough to when I think about the, across the expanse of my I don't ever think of myself as having a career. Isn't that interesting? But because I just think of me as doing me and living my life and whatever. It is interesting, I guess when you're not in corporate and you don't really think of it like Korea, but I guess you would say it, but when I think across the course of my quote unquote, Korea, and I think about all the incredible teachers I have and the incredible things that I've learned. I feel really, really lucky. And I have also been lucky to train with some incredible hypnotist and NLP teachers and stuff like that. Michael Mahoney. You guys have already met him. You've actually also met Melissa Tia's. I had her on my podcast last year, so go check that out. And Melissa tears is one of the best hypnotist I think alive on the planet. Today. She is an incredible integrative change worker and I've studied with Melissa Tia's. I've taken many trainings, actually, with Melissa Diaz, and I continue to do and what she has taught me. I mean, she's taught, you know, obviously, more than me, a bunch of people, but I'm one of them, how to work with both the conscious and unconscious minds, how to work with both the front of the house and the back of the house, right? Because we need conscious awareness, to know to recognize that something isn't working and to have that desire to go, like I want to make a change. But then if you don't have the appropriate tools to help the subconscious, make those change. make those changes, right. It's, it's way harder. That's why change feels so hard. So if we don't have tools, right, again, we do these things repeatedly. Anything that we think, say do believe stories, we tell whatever, with enough emotion, with enough feeling with it enough times enough repetition, they become patterns. So if you have a pattern, and you have a habit, right, just trying to make a conscious choice in the front of your mind, like I'm not going to do that anymore. It's like yeah, good luck with that. Good luck with that. You've been trying it that way. You've been trying to do it that way. That's what I jokingly say to my clients, your best thinking, right? Your best decision, your best thinking, right? Got You Here, still stuck in the rut, still cutting through the woods, right? He was in that that well worn groove that's slowly turned into a rut that's no longer serving you. So if we have patterns and habits, what do we need? Right, we need to be able to know how to interrupt the pattern to interrupt the habit. So that a new choice can be made, so that new neural networks can be made in your brain. So this is good news. Because you can stop beating yourself up and thinking you're a piece of shit because you're having a wicked hard time changing a pattern or a habit or an addiction or whatever. Right? It's it's habituated thinking, feeling, doing whatever, and you've strengthen the neural network in your brain. And that's why right front of the house doesn't necessarily change back of the house, we need to have pattern interrupts and the cool thing is with this work is you can rewire your brain, you can change your mind you can change your beliefs, you can rewrite your old stories, you can shift your perception, you can have a new, more positive if you want to say mindset, you can deepen your spiritual connection, you can learn to start to navigate from a place of love, instead of fear. You can learn how to calm your nervous system to regulate your nervous system, and to do it in a gentle and effective way. No forcing, simply trans forming, no forcing, trans forming instead. And we can do it with curiosity. We can do it with compassion, we can do it with ease. You know, and I say to people all the time, look, you can keep doing the same shit. Nobody's gonna stop you. You can keep doing the same shit and get the same result. Or you can learn to do something new. You can learn a new way of thinking, believing, identifying, choosing all of it, you can keep doing the same old thing, getting the same old thing. Or you can be willing to take a leap of faith and try something new. Because we can learn pattern interrupts we can learn other spiritual, somatic, subconscious tools to start to create change in your life.

Karen Kenney: 00:35:24

Like it's now working good news. I know, I can't be the only one that gets excited about this stuff. We can re wire old associations and old memories in our brain. And we can start to light up new neural networks start to create new patterns, new habits, new ways of being. It's all through repetition and using tools, right like that I use in spiritual mentoring and hypnosis, and, you know, Cymatics, and all of a sudden, you get all the systems online, the body, the breath, the mind, the heart, the subconscious, the brain, right? We have all these tools, and we can do it. And it's pretty incredible. And a lot of people, like I said, they say, well, change is hard. And I'm like, Well, I think it's way harder to keep doing the thing that is making you suffer. Change is scary. People say and I'm like, Well, I think it's scarier. To keep doing the old thing that's not getting you where you want to go, that's making you feel like crap about yourself. You know, I would rather take a leap of faith, right? Like, I'm the FIFO, right? You FA fo I like to fuck around and find out I would rather try something new and quote unquote, fail, right. And some things, we do fail that failure is a real thing. But if I'm learning something about myself, I don't think that that's like a total loss. If I'm finding like, Oh, if I'm getting information in data, like, Oh, if I just tweak that, or try that, or do it longer, or do it with more repetitions, like that, to me is all helpful. Okay. So some people think I don't have enough time change is hard, it takes too long. I'm like, Look, you can spend your time doing the same old, same old, or you can inject and take that energy and inject it into something that is going to bring you more happiness, more peace, more calm, more love, more contentment, more health more, whatever. Now remember, when Mary and Marianne Williamson would sometimes say at her events, you know, she'd do a q&a. And I've talked about this before, and I use this example because it's so good. And it makes so much sense. And it always lands it's still lands for me after 30 friggin years. But she'll, you know, somebody in the audience would raise their hand and they would start to convention bitch and moan about, you know, some problem that they're having. And they're lamenting, and their whatever. And Marianne would would stop them and say, Well, let me ask you, do you have any kind of meditation practice or prayer practice, right? What I call a DSP. And they would be like, Well, no, like, I got A Course in Miracles where I did this, but I haven't stayed with it. Because I'm busy. And boo, boo, boo, boo, boo. And she go, okay, okay, let me get this, right. So you don't have time to meditate. But you have plenty of time to be miserable. You don't have time to learn some new tools, you don't have time, right? to maybe work with a coach or work with a mentor or what this is me now like you don't have you don't have the time to maybe try something or do something new, but you have plenty of time to keep doing the same old shit. How's that working out? Like? How's that working out? Right? So look, here's the good news. You already have your own inner teacher, you already have a part of you that is connected to divine intelligence, there is a part of you that has everything it already needs, like you have everything you need inside of you to create change. And you just sometimes need some help, and some guidance and support and some mentoring, to learn how to use what you already have. I remember I used to find it incredibly frustrating in the beginning of the whole self help movement, like way back in the day when I was in LA when I was in California. And I'd be reading books and I would read a line that says you have everything you need inside of you. And I'd be like, Yeah, well, if I fucking had everything I need, why haven't I figured it out yet? If it's also available to me, and it's so easy, how come? I don't know? I think there would be it would behoove people to add that next little piece on that says yes, yes, you do have everything you need inside of you. And sometimes we need external teachers to remind us of our own internal teacher. And we need external mentors and coaches are whatever, who have already walked the path ahead of us who can come back and point out some things and show us the way we sometimes need an elder. Right we sometimes need An elder to come back and hold our hand. And to teach us how to use what we already have inside of us. We don't always know, we might know it exists, but we don't know the address. We don't have a GPS to it yet. But once we do, and we start to practice it, we create those new neural networks. This is when we can start to change, our minds can start to change, our whole lives can start to change. You might have the tools, but you don't know how to use them yet, you know, and I think about my own toolbox. Like my literal physical toolbox, there are some tools that I'm like, okay, like, I know how to use a hammer. I know how to use a level like this certain thing, right, a tape measure. But there's certain tools I'm like, I don't know how to use that power saw properly. I don't know how to use that saws, all thing, maybe to the best of its ability. I have the tools, but they don't know how to use them. So what am I going to do, I'm going to, I'm going to call my uncle rich, who's been a cop, and that has been a contractor for friggin 57 years. And I'm gonna be like, Hey, man, how do I do this, I'm gonna go to an elder, I'm going to ask a coach or a Menza. If I don't know how to do something, I'm not afraid to admit, I don't think I'm less than I don't think I'm lacking in some way. I'm like, I know, I have everything I need inside of me. But sometimes I need reminders. Sometimes I need support. Sometimes I need coaching or guidance, or mentorship. Right? So think about it like this. I'm gonna I'm gonna wrap this up. You you breathe, you have been breathing every single day in probably minute moment, whatever of your life. But do you know how to do certain breath work that allows you to calm your nervous system or to invigorate your nervous system? Do you know that there's certain ways of using pranayama and breath to to to soothe your nervous system and turn on the relaxation response? The parasympathetic, you know, nervous system. So yeah, you know how to breathe, but you not how to use that tool in a particular way. Right? Yeah, you know how to move your body. But did you know that there's certain somatic moves a certain ways of moving and breathing together, aka yoga, that can help calm your nervous system, and quiet the parasympathetic, the fear response, so you can actually make new choices, different choices, new ways of being make change. So yeah, you know how to move but you know how to do. And then hypnosis, people think hypnosis a lot of times is some weird stage act, some entertainment thing, you're gonna make me cluck like a chicken like that. And other than that out, what people don't realize is you go in and out of hypnosis naturally, a bunch of times each day on your own. But do you know how to use it and wield that tool in a way that is going to help you create change and rewire your brain? No. And this is why it's helpful to have in me, right people like me, people who have been doing this work for a really long time, people who are in the business of helping others. And yes, of course, you have to hire us, you have to pay us this is our livelihood. We've spent money to learn how to train how to help ourselves. First and foremost, I can't speak for other people, but Right, I go first in order to help myself. And then I can glean some wisdom of my own firsthand lived experience so that I can go back and share what I have learned. So that maybe it's going to be helpful to you. And I know it's been helpful enough because I've been in this business long enough. And I have a bunch of testimonials and people who have said, Oh my God, this has changed my life. So I hope something I have said today has lit up a light bulb in your little head, right? I don't mean little like you have you know what I mean? I just like to use that word. So I hope something that I have shared has lit up a light bulb has made you to start to go like Oh, so it's not that I'm lazy or I'm bad or I'm stupid or I'm whatever. It's that my subconscious and my conscious mind are not playing well together. And I can't change the back of the house without right I can't I can't do it alone, which is the front of the house. I have to learn some new tools, subconscious reprogramming, hypnosis, NLP spiritual mentoring, maybe some breath work, some somatic work, some pattern interrupt some anti anxiety things. This is how we change and if you're like, oh my god, I have these problems. But I don't have these tools like hello, hello. Just putting in a little plug a little, a little plug for myself. These are the services this is what I do. This is how I work with people and one to one mentoring. And my program the quest we personalize it can also do a heart to heart day with me over Voxer right if you don't want to get on video. So check it out. Go to karenkenny.com/work with me to see the different ways that you could maybe work with me when that the We can fun. Okay. So if you are not also at last thing was if you're not on my email list, if you sign up for my email list, I send newsletters twice a week, right? You get one that's usually like either a little story or I'm telling you what I'm offering or a cool workshop or something that's going on, right? I tried to I don't send shit just a sentient like this week, this week.

Karen Kenney: 00:45:24

Right? Not when you hear this, but this week in real time, I decided not to send an email. Right? I've been sending emails weekly for 20 some odd years. But I'm like, I'm not gonna send one because I don't there's not something that I feel like is important enough, right at this moment to take up your inbox base. Right. But tip typically, almost always, I send two emails a week. And then you'll always get the second email, which is delivering this podcast right into your inbox. So I don't spam I don't send a bunch of frivolous shit. I try to not waste anybody's time including money on. So I hope this was helpful to you in some way. Right? So if you feel like you're in kind of one of those ruts, same shit different day, right? Maybe reach out maybe now is the perfect time for us to work with one another. And I would love to that so reach out, send up a flare, let me know. And look wherever you go. Wherever you go. Whatever you're working with, right? Do your best to leave yourself the place the people, the animals the environment better than how you first found them. Wherever you go. May you and your presence and your energy and your attitude, how you show up. May it be a blessing by