Work With What Happens

Karen Kenney: 00:00:01

Hey, welcome to the Karen Kenny show. I'm sorry, I'm cracking up laughing. So those of you who are regular listeners to the show, you might have seen my sometimes co officemate till we pajamas until we pajamas is a cat. He's 16. He's orange. He's a rescue from Alabama. He's out of his mind. Okay, we've had him since he was like six months old, I think. Anyways, he's totally out of his mind. And he was in here just a little while ago, and then he wanted to go out so I shut the door behind him. And now he keeps literally like, launching himself against the door. Then we're taken off and doing zoomies down the stairs and I can hear his body. And he's not a small cat. So you can hear to delta delta delta delta. Oh my God, he's cracking me up. Okay, and we're back. Welcome to the Oh my god. Okay, you guys. I am wicked excited about today's episode. So I sometimes like to share why or where inspiration for for a particular episode comes from. And today, my inspiration comes from one of my favorite people, beings. i This souls that was on the planet, so I'm gonna hold up this little thing. So if you're not watching the show today, if you're listening, you're kind of missing out, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna describe what I'm doing. So you can see from the bottom of my screen. Oh my god.

Unknown: 00:01:40

That's right. It's Bob Ross. You guys,

Karen Kenney: 00:01:45

I'm holding up this little cardboard cutout of my buddy Bob Ross. Bob Ross, painter, artist, teacher, TV personality. All around Heck of a guy. Oh my god, beautiful soul, one of the one of the big time members of my spiritual team. So it's this little cardboard cutout. And he's wearing jeans in his boots and he's holding his palate and his paintbrush, and he's got his little his little permed Afro and he's holding his paintbrush, and he's smiling. And I keep him on my desk. I also have one of Mr. Rogers, but we're gonna save that one for another episode. Okay, so here's what happened. Here's what happened. Let's dive into this sucker. I think I'm going to call this work with what happens. Work with what happens. Okay. So Bob Ross, if you don't know who he is, oh my god. So Bob Ross had a TV show on PBS and the his first show ever I think he had on January 11 1983. So like, way back in the day, he ended up doing this show for 31 seasons, and there were over 400 episodes, you guys. And I think they said the number was something like he created in that time, over 30,000 paintings. So if you have never seen Bob Ross and have watched his show, let me tell you go Google it, you are in for a treat. Bob Ross is most well known not only for his style of painting, his style of teaching, his compassionate heart, his love of animals, his love of nature, but he has this very particular tone of voice, which when you listen to it, like I can't speak for you. But like my whole nervous system just like relaxes, it just comes. It's almost like a hypnotic way of speaking. It's lovely. And it's beautiful. And you may or may not know this about Bob Ross, but he was in the Air Force for many, many, many years before his painting and his creativity and his artwork became the focus of his life. And in the the service. It is said that he was you know, quote unquote, a drill sergeant. And he hated having to yell at people about cleaning the latrine and getting up in your face and being in your business and yelling, yelling, yelling and he hated it. He hated being mean. So he rumor has it and it's written in this book. So one of my friends gifted me this amazing book I'm holding this up to and it's called Happy little accidents. The wit and wisdom of Bob Ross. Oh my god, you guys, I'm obsessed. I just love him so much. So in this book, it was saying that he vowed once he got out of the military, there was no longer gonna yell at people. And then that led to that really beautiful compassionate, kind, comforting tone of voice that he used on all the shows. Okay, so here's where So Bob is known for his as the books as his wit and wisdom. So even though he was teaching people how to paint on this show, if you listen to those episodes all throughout the episode, he's dropping these little nuggets of wisdom, he's dropping these little funny things, really wise things, really helpful things. I mean, for me, it was like listening to spiritual principles kind of being woven within his artwork is painting what he was teaching. So I see him as a spiritual teacher, I don't really care if anybody else agrees with me, but I saw him as a spiritual teacher. And he had this way of being, of being so calm, like just so, so clear, so concise, so calm, so connected, so confident. And so often we, we think of that level of kind of confidence, being with people who kind of walk into a room with all this attitude and arrogance and taking up all the space in the room. But he was just so quiet and humble, but his presence was so felt in so impactful. So we had a kind of humble confidence that I really love and respect it kind of reminds me of my sweetie a little bit. Okay, so I love Bob Ross so much and then I'm gonna get into the heartbeat of the show that I often turn him on when like, you know, my sweetie and I have to leave the house and you know, we're only gonna be gone for a little bit or whatever, we'll leave the TV on for the dogs or if I'm if I'm upstairs working in my sweetie is gone. I'll put on Bob Ross. I swear they love it. Okay, but here's the thing. So one night, I'm making dinner. And I just, you know, I clicked on the TV, I was gonna, you know, sit down to eat and watch a show and a few minutes. And Bob Ross is on so the Bob Ross channel is always like our default channel. So if we if you turn on our TV, you know, a lot of times that's the channel that will that will come on on TV. And I click it on, I turn it on, I'm making my pass or whatever. I'm making some vegan yummy vegan snacks, and Bob's painting. Okay. Now I have since heard him say this phrase in multiple ways. So same meaning as I always say, same Z's different. Okay, the heartbeat of the show work with what happens here. But I've heard him say this phrase, in multiple ways, at least three times on three different episodes, and I'm going to share what he says. And then I'm gonna I'm gonna break it down for you and why I think it's so impactful and helpful, not only for me, but for you, my dear listeners. So here's the thing. Okay, I'm making dinner, right? I have my back to the TV. I'm not watching and I'm like stirring the marinara sauce or whatever. And all of a sudden, I hear Bob say his infamous phrase, right? He is absolutely known for saying that we there are no mistakes. Okay. So when you're painting and you you quote, unquote, think you flubbed up right? You think you screwed up? Like what? Whether you use the wrong color, you put too much on the like, whatever, he always will say this, he'll say, there are no mistakes, right? We don't make mistakes. They're just happy little accidents. And of course, like I'm stirring, and I'm chuckling because that one who doesn't want to hear that? Right? There are no mistakes. They're just happy little accident. She made an accident. Oh, no, now it's a bird. Right? Happy little accidents. So that kind of makes me chuckle. And then he drops this sucker. He says right after that, okay, there are no mistakes. They're just happy little accidents. And he says this learn to work with what happens. And I just about like, leave my body like I like jump. I'm like, I'm like, like, I spin around. And I'm like, shit, get a piece of pen and paper. So in my kitchen they got I always had I always have pen and paper pretty much everywhere. As a writer, that's what we're like, right? So I run over before I forget, before my brain can forget, I run over and I grab a piece of paper and I jot that down right I got it written down right here on this piece of paper I could show you learn to work with what happens. And I thought oh my god, what a powerful teaching not only for painters and artists and creatives, but for just human beings. And I got wicked excited about this. Because it's very much in line with my own teaching. And it was just like, oh my god, like the synapses like the the little cells in my brain the little neurons in my brains were firing right and what fires together wires together as Rick Hanson says, and all of a sudden all these connections all the little guys a little guys my little filofax system in my subconscious and in my in my brain, were like, Whoa, right there, like totally connecting the dots. Oh my God. Now I'm going to share a couple of other ways that he said this, and then I'm going to relate it and break it down why I'm so excited about this. Okay. He has said it this way learn to work with what happens. He's also said, use no he said learn to use anything that can happen. Learn to you Was anything that can happen now remember he's talking about on the canvas while he's painting. I'm talking though about life learn to use anything that can happen and then he said it this way another time and I'm sure he has said it 1000 Other ways on other episodes but these are the three that I've seen and heard with my own with my own ear balls I was gonna say my own ear balls I was gonna say my own eyes and my own ears my own eyeballs my own ears their ear balls now

Karen Kenney: 00:10:30

oh my god okay. He said this and I getting love it he said use what happens to create your own masterpiece and I was like oh my god double a min hands Bob Ross. Look at it. I gotta hold him up again. Look how cute he is. You guys look at that gentle little smile. I love Bob game a little kiss little kiss a Rooney okay, because here's the thing. My process that I use, right, so I use a lot of different tools in my work with people in spiritual mentoring, using hypnosis, somatic work, subconscious reprogramming, right integrative change work, integrative hypnosis, live coaching, yoga, breath work, like all the other tools that I use, right? They're all used in this four step process that I use that I've created that I call your story, to your glory, your story to your glory. And the heartbeat of this is really, we've all got stories to tell, we've all got stories about the shit that has gone down in our lives, the stuff that has gone down the stuff that has gone wrong, sometimes it's stuff that is gone, right? We all have these stories, these beliefs, these experiences, these identities, right, all these things that make up the stories that we tell about ourselves that we believe about ourselves, whatever. And a lot of times, we are not writing stories in our own favor, or anybody else's, we are often attached to in retelling and re traumatizing ourselves again, and again and again, with the same stories, and what whatever the details of the stories are, because we know that there's really awful, brutal, tragic, horrible, violent, terrible, right things that happen in the world and that humans do to one another. I'm not saying that the stories are perceived as real. I'm not saying that they didn't happen. I'm not saying anything of that. But in the work that I do, so much of it is about taking those stories. And through this process, right, releasing the meaning that we've assigned to them, rewriting them through a different lens, a lens of love instead of fear. And then moving through that process to we transform that old story, into your glory, into your strengths into your power into your uniqueness into your unique set of skills, your the way that you see the world the way that you create and make art and help people and show up and speak your language, your words, your essence, right who you are your spirit. That's that whole process. And that's basically, right, what Bob is distilling down, he's saying learn to use whatever happens, work with what happens. And this is what I often say to people, you know, at retreats, I'll tell them how, you know, I was a wicked sensitive kid. And I had a lot of trauma when I was a little kid. And throughout my life, right? It's not just like a one and done this being human is an ongoing fucking problem. You know what I'm saying? So, but I have learned to take what has happened to me. And through this kind of process, this alchemy, this this alchemy, right? That this kind of Wizardry, I kind of like to say, right, that's what I think about these processes that there, there's magic in them, there's there's very much human, practical, applicable down to earth, results in lessons and tools. But the outcomes can feel kind of magical, you know what I mean? And so when when I think about this process, your story to your glory, glory, what we're doing is we're taking the things that have happened to us and we're mining them, reminding them to, to kind of shift and shake and you know, in the panhandlers back in the day would go and look for gold and they would kind of sift through and they would try to find the gold amongst all the rock. Right? That's kind of what we're doing. And I've often told people again, as I was starting to say, like at my retreats, I'll say, you know, I was a wicked sensitive kid. And I said, and I've turned that sensitivity I have turned that hyper vigilance because of trauma in my childhood. Into my superpowers. I have turned those old stories into my strengths into my skill set into the ways that make me a better coach, a better mentor, a better friend, a better sweetie a better, you know, writer, a better listener, a better person who can pay it Tension, right, who can sit with difficult things who can hear difficult things, who's not going to run away from other people's pain and suffering? Humans or animals, right? I'm not going to turn a blind eye. I have taken these really challenging wicked hard shit that has happened. And I have turned it into, right I have learned, I have learned to use what happens to create my own masterpiece, as Bob Ross says, Use what happens to create your own masterpiece. And sometimes we're not able yet, because time, right, healing takes time. Healing takes way longer when you do not have support, help tools, or you have not learned nobody has helped you to learn yet. Or you have not discovered on your own yet, how to transform your story to your glory, how to shift your perception in your mind, from fear, to love, how to move out of those old patterns and habits of the ways that we identify with ourselves. We haven't learned yet to shift from body identification to spirit identification. We haven't learned yet how to work with what happens. The only way sometimes some people work with what happened to them is they stay down in that place of what we would call like, you know, the victim loop. And I want to be wicked clear. This is not to say that things haven't happened that you haven't been a victim of. And whether that's when you were a little kid and you had no power, or you've been the victim of a crime, or you have been the victim of abuse or whatever. I'm not saying that we're I don't throw that word victim around lightly. Like there aren't people who are victimized, my mother was a victim, okay, of a brutal murder. So I understand the power of that word. But we can sometimes once we move away from our younger years, and we're now adults with autonomy and agency and authority, right, we still perceive ourselves in these old stories as being right, there's parts of us, there are parts of us inside of us, right parts of our personality that are still stuck back when we were five or eight or 11, or 12, or 15, or 17. They don't know that, hey, we're 55. Now, hey, I'm 34. Now Hey, I'm 72. Now, hey, I'm 64. Right? They don't know that yet. And if we don't do some inner work, if we don't do some spiritual work, to catch those parts of ourselves up, if we're not actively and proactively, right, looking at those old stories, looking at those old patterns and habits and ways of being, then we often stay stuck in that loop back then when we were victimized, and we keep dragging the past into not only our present, but it starts to predict our future. And no wonder why we feel anxious or depressed or whatever. You know, and I talk to my friends about this all the time about how I don't think enough people understand the importance of the kind of work that I do. And what I help people with. I think a lot of people have normalized a lot of bullshit. I think a lot of people have normalized suffering in a way that we shouldn't. And I'm not saying Oh, I'm so special. I'm so important. What I'm saying is, I think spiritual work doesn't get that call it mindset work, call it personal development work, call it spiritual work, whatever you want to call it. I don't think sometimes it gets the credit that it deserves. That that people don't understand the symptom, Problem Solution situation, they might be aware that they're having symptoms of being unhappy of not being at ease, they have anxiety, depression, they're miserable in their marriage, or their job and their bodies and their lives, right. Everything is gloom and doom, or they're just not satisfied. They get even if they got everything they thought they wanted, and they're still not happy. Right? So they haven't quite they understand there's a symptom, right? Whether it's discomfort or lack of contentment, or resentment or whatever is going on, right? They're drinking too much. They're staying up too late. They're avoiding their partner, they hate their job, fill in the blank 1001 ways to suffer. They're often not making the connection to what the real problem is. Right? So they'll say things like, oh, maybe I just need to get to bed earlier. I need to stop drinking or I need to stop doing this or whatever they haven't even identified. They think the problem is to stop doing the thing that is trying to suppress the symptom, but they're not getting to the root or the cause. They're aware of the effects of the cause. They're aware of the effect of whatever the problem is, but they're not clear yet on the problem and the work that I do with people is helping us get down to the root get under the under the under the under of what's really going on going to cause so then effect will change. So we go inside and do the work internally we do the spiritual work, we do the mental work, we do the emotional work, right? And then yes, we could certainly discuss the physical work if that's appropriate in that particular client situation. Right, those four different levels of healing. But a lot of times people are symptom aware, but they're not problem aware. And then they're definitely not solution aware, they're not thinking I always jokingly say, most people aren't laying in bed at night saying, Oh, God, I need to I need a light, I need a spiritual mentor, you know, oh, if I only had an integrative hypnotist, and integrative change work, or if I only had a life coach, they're not all usually thinking that because they've normalized, right? They're used to that particular level of suffering or thought process or perception or whatever. So I love what Bob is saying here. You know, and it reminds me of a quote that I love from Carlos Castaneda that I often share with people and he says this, he says, we either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong, the amount of work is the same. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong, the amount of work is the same. And so when I work with people, I say, Okay, well, we've tried it your way, right? You've already done it your way, right? You're clearly here to work with me, because not everything is going the way that you thought it would or should. And you might be a little miserable, unhappy. Well, the same amount of energy and effort you've put into either avoiding the problem, figuring out what the problem really is, right? Being honest, and owning both your brilliance and your bullshit. If we can just now take that energy and funnel it into right, funnel it into making yourself strong, stronger in your mind, stronger in your heart stronger in the installing internal stabilizers, right? Using these different tools, the spiritual tools, the brain science tools, the hypnosis, right, all of these things, the visualization processes, all these things that that we bring together. And it can have remarkable, incredible results. We move from we transform from your story to your glory. And that's what this is learn to use what happens to create your own masterpiece. Now I get it, I can already feel like I can hear the voice in my head saying some really terrible, awful things happen. And you want me to turn that into a positive somehow you want me to take my fill in the blank, fill in the awful thing that happened. And you want me to somehow spin fucking gold out of this, like, go fuck yourself, you know what I mean? I can, I can hardly hear it. But I will say this.

Karen Kenney: 00:22:53

I will say this. As a kid who grew up with a lot of trauma. I know what becomes possible. When you set your mind to not staying in that old story. There's a reason why I'm a writer, I am a lover of words. I'm a lover of books. I'm a reader. I'm a storyteller. Because I know the power of stories. I know the power of story is to bring us together to connect us to strengthen us to heal us. And I know the power of a story that is told repeatedly with repetition, not in our own favor. As a kid who has been victimized as a kid who knows what it's like to have a dead murdered mother, right? Like I'm not here to list all my traumas for you. I'm like, read the book, read the memoir. But what I'm saying is I get it, I get it, I may not know exactly what you've been through, but I understand the the whole of the undertow, the strength, the gravity of our suffering, and how hard it can be sometimes to not just know how to shift from your story to your glory, but to even want to. Because there's something the brain the brain loves the subconscious mind. It loves the familiar and to leave the familiar to leave the known into the unknown, even if the unknown is better, safer, more loving. It's really scary, right for the subconscious for our nervous system to leave the known, even if the known hell even if it's a hell. So we would rather stay in an unsafe known then shift, right, that old story, then shift into a safe unknown, that glory piece. And what Bob is telling us here is don't just like be like, Oh my God, it's awful, I screwed up. It's a mistake, it's this terrible thing has happened. He's saying no. Learn to work with what happens. Use what happens to create your own masterpiece, learn to use anything that happens. And I believe that we can. I'm not saying it's easy, I'm not saying this happens wicked fast, I'm not telling everybody to rush, their grieving process, their healing process or their forgiveness process that is up to the individual. But what I'm saying is, so much becomes possible, when we become willing to use what has happened in our own favor, to take back our power from those old those old stories, those old things that have happened, the wicked had shit even, we can transmute it. We can shift from beer to love, we can move from the wound, to the wisdom, from the pain to the peace, from that experience of how to this experience a personal habit. We can shift from fear to love from your story to your glory, if we learn how to use what has happened, and sometimes we need somebody to hold our hand and walk along beside us as we do this work. And that's where people like me come in. So I wanted to share this with you because I got so excited, because Bob Ross is dropping nuggets of gold at our feet. It's like spiritual breadcrumbs all the time. And I write down I keep a list, I keep a list. I'm like I could do like seven more shows right now, off of the things that he's taught us. Right? Just like Mr. Rogers, I'm going to do a whole thing on like the seven smarty pants things are more whatever Mr. Rogers to. But you guys, I hope this was helpful in some way. I hope it's helping you. At the very least, if you're somebody who has felt stuck, disenfranchised, if you've been in a place that has not been helpful for you, to the very least to give you a little bit of hope to know that there is another way that there is another way. And once we start to believe that there is another way I always say like and of course in miracles, we talk about how as soon as there is a problem. As soon as there is a problem, the answer has already been created, the answer is already on its way, the solution, the miracle is already on its way. And all we have to do is open up our minds, to the inner teacher, to that wicked, smarty pants part of you that is always in communion with the divine that has God's ear, right. And that has ears to listen to whatever is coming down the pike for you to know as well. And maybe today's podcast today was the message that you needed to hear. Fingers crossed, I don't know. But hopefully, this is landing inside of you in some way. That makes you a little more hopeful that feels a little more helpful that you don't walk away, continuing to feel helpless. Okay. So I would love to hear from you if you find this podcast helpful. And if you do if this episode in some way landed in your heart, if it got you thinking if it's starting to shift your perception a little bit like That's amazing. And if you found it helpful, right, do me a favor and helped me to spread the good word in the Love by sharing it with somebody that you love that you think might benefit from hearing this message today. That would be awesome. And I also just want to say thank you so much for being here. And you guys one of the things I would love to do also is invite you to join my list Karen kenny.com/sign up so you will get this podcast right into your inbox every Thursday morning. Plus you will get one other like what do we I don't know newsletter, it sounds like so outdated. I know you get a little love letter from me in your inbox, letting you know what kind of shenanigans I'm up to what kind because I'm going to be having some online events that you might want to be a part of some workshops and I'll be creating some fun things so don't miss out on those and come join us again Karen can you.com/sign up I would love to have you join us and I hope this episode work with what happens is helpful to you. And if you've like Hey, I got a bunch of shit that's happened. I'm not sure how to work with it yet but I do want to transform my story to my glory I do want to shift from fear to love I do want to write start to rewire my brain and like you know discover some neuroplasticity because look at I'm 55 We can teach I'm living proof that you can teach some old dogs new tricks you know. And trust me you guys listen to me. If this knucklehead maths hole and this maths hole from Lourdes VAs in Boston, if I can transform myself in I can take that raw material from Laura As mass, right and transform it, I am telling you, I am telling you divine alchemy is at play. And I've already gone first and I got some tools in my spiritual toolkit, I got some tools in my, my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual toolkits that could be helpful. So if this resonates with you in any way, and you need some help, and you want to work together, you can also just go to Karen kenny.com/work with me and find out the different ways that I work one to one with people. All right, you guys, thank you so much for being here today. Wherever you go, wherever you go, may you leave the animals, the people, the places you visit the environment yourself better than how you first found it. Wherever you go, may your presence may you be you being there, be a blessing by