WORRY A LITTLE BIT

Karen Kenney: 00:00:00

It's the Karen Kenney show. Hey, you guys,

Karen Kenney: 00:00:04

welcome to the Karen Kenney show. I'm wicked excited to be

Karen Kenney: 00:00:07

here with you today, and this sucker is going to be like super

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duper duper super duper duper short, but on purpose, because

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there's really only one thing that I really want to talk about

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and mention, and I don't want to ramble and be redundant, and

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this is something that I have no doubt I have mentioned on my

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podcast before, and it's kind of inspired by a couple of

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different conversations, one was a conversation from many years

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ago that I had with my stepfather, and one others along

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the way, you know with girlfriends of mine, friends of

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mine who are incredibly strong women, but also a conversation

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that I recently had with somebody who had a recent loss

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and a tragic loss, and is really like in it, right, and is in

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their grief and is struggling, like you know, which is totally

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normal and human after somebody you love dies, and here's the,

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here's the thing that I want to say. So, you probably already

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saw the title of this, it's called Worry a Little, like,

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worry a little bit, you know what I'm saying, and what I mean

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by that is this: when you tend to be the kind of person that

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you know handles their business, get shit done, like from the

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outside in, like from the world looking at you, it always seems

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like you quote unquote have your shit together. You don't reach

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out for a lot of help, like I said, like you handle your

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business, you get shit done, etc. But those are the people,

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those are the people in your life that I really want to keep

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reminding you and encouraging you to reach out to, so I

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remember having a conversation with my stepfather. I'm not

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going to go into it too much. You can read about it in the

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memoir, probably when it comes out, but I remember he, you

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know, my sister and I having a conversation with him about how

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he never called us, or he didn't reach out, or he didn't check in

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on us, or whatever, which is attached to a much bigger,

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longer story and problem, but to keep it concise, and I said to

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him, I asked some sort of a question, like, why don't you

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call, or why don't you like check in, and he said, because I

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don't worry about things that are going well, and my point was

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kind of like, well, how do you know they're going well if

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you're not checking in? And his attitude was, well, if things

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were going bad, I'm sure I would have heard about it. And then he

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looked at me and he said, you know, I don't worry about you.

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He's like, I don't worry about you. And in my head I had this

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thought, I didn't say the words out loud, but I had the thought,

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and I carried that thought with me for a while, and then I

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remember talking to another friend who also reiterated that

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same sentiment to me. They looked at me, and they were kind

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of like, "Ah, you got this, I don't worry about you, and I

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looked at them, and I finally said the words that I had

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thought that day with my stepfather, and I said, "Maybe

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you should worry a little bit. I remember them looking at me

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like, "What do you mean? And I said, "Like, I understand right

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through all the coaching and mentoring I've done over the

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years. Worrying never changes the outcome, right? If you have

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a problem or something that's causing you stress or anxiety or

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whatever, sitting around worrying about it doesn't change

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Jack shit, but what I mean in this instance, I'm being a

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little cheeky, right? I'm being a little fresh when I say this.

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When I say worry a little bit, like maybe you should just worry

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a little bit. What I'm really saying is, like, hey, check in

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on the people that always seem like, you know, they got their

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shit together, that they can handle their business, that they

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don't reach out and ask for help a lot of times, even if you ask

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them, is there anything you need? Is there anything I can

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do? How you doing?

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We'll probably say I'm doing great, I'm doing fine, I'm all

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set. No, thank you, whatever. But I can't tell you how much it

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means to us and those people like us when you do check in,

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because it's telling us that you think about us, that you care

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about us, that you're curious enough that you wonder, right?

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Because a lot of times, also, when you're the person who is

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seen as the strong one, right, the one that's always taking

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care of things, handling things, getting shit done, doing things

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for other people, the one that everybody comes to for advice or

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information or money, or whatever the situation might be,

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right? Nobody really comes to me for money because I don't have

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any, but it's not true, you know, but you don't say, but

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here's the thing, it's like a lot of times when you're

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carrying that yourself and you're always handling things,

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people don't even think to ask you, because when they're coming

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to you, it's almost always about them. They've got something that

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they need, they have a situation that they need support or

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advice, or a shoulder to cry on, or somebody to hold their hand,

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or prop them up, or build them up, and sometimes we can get

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lost, right. Right, I'm not saying, look, I never asked her.

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I've gotten a lot better. I've gotten a lot better at receiving

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help, asking for help, etc. But I do think that I have been one

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of those people that a lot of people don't worry about from

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the time that I was young, because I was a tough, quote

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unquote, tough kid, you know? I was a tough kid, but you guys

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listen, those are the people that you might want to worry

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about a little bit, and check on them a little bit, even if they

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turn down your offer, even if they say no. I'll tell you, as

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being one of those kinds of people, it means so much to us

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when people just, even momentarily, like it's

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interesting, like in my yoga class, like every week on

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Tuesday nights, I've been teaching this yoga class

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forever. Some of my students have been with me for over 20

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years, and I always start the class, and I say, How you guys

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doing? How's everybody doing? How can I be helpful? Like, what

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do you need? You know, I serve at your pleasure, you know. And

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every once in a while, somebody will go, and how are you doing?

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Like, all you know, and I'm like, because when you're in the

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role of the teacher, the mentor, the coach, the leader, the boss,

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whatever you're almost always the one who is initiating the

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connection, the conversation, right, whatever the

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communication, and every once in a while it occurs to somebody

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else to ask you, and it's a really sweet thing, and it's a

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really nice thing, and double A men hands, if you are kind of

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the quote unquote strong one, the plan of the doer, the fixer,

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whatever, in your family or in your friend group, just raise

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your hands, because you know what I'm talking about, you know

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exactly what I'm talking about, and I can think of a lot of my

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female friends who are the ones that get done in their family,

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in their business, in their friend groups, in organizing

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shit, you know, planning things, whatever, and women often play

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that role. I'm not saying that men sometimes also, or men often

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times don't also play this role, just depends on the dynamics.

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But you guys, just a little love letter from my hat to yours, and

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if you are the one that that rarely gets asked. I'm here

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asking you right now, like, how you doing? You doing okay? You

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hanging in there? Do you need anything? Just know that I see

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you, and I get it, and I support you. And for those people who

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maybe you know, you can think of at least one person in your

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life, in your family, in your friend group, whatever, at work,

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that is the one that handles shit and get it done, you know.

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Just worry about them a teeny tiny bit, just a little bit. Be

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curious enough to ask, care enough to ask, because I can

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tell you that it makes a world of difference. Okay, that's all

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I wanted to say.

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Little, little PSA, little public service announcement. I

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hope you're doing fantastic out there. I know the world

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continues to be insane, and kind of a shit show, and 1000 things

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that could freak us out. And just know that I'm here each

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week, and I'm thinking of you, and I'm blasting you with love,

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and I'm sending so much, so much wishes for you of health and

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success and support and community and comfort and

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strength, because we all kind of need each other right now. We

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all need to lean on each other right now, and so now more than

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ever, too, there's an extra burden on the people who tend to

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hold it together and keep it together and get done. So check

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on your people, check on your people. Okay, you guys, I love

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you wherever you go, may you leave yourself and the animals

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and the other people and the environment and the planet

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better than how you found it. Wherever you go, may you and

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your love, your presence, your energy, and your thoughtfulness,

Karen Kenney: 00:08:33

right, your thoughtfulness to ask, may it be a blessing. Bye.

Karen Kenney: 00:08:38

Hey, thanks so much for listening to the show. I really

Karen Kenney: 00:08:41

love spending some time together. Now, if you dig the

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show or know someone that could benefit from this episode,

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please share it with them and help me to spread the good word

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and the love. And if you want to be in the know about all of my

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Bye.